Monday, October 30, 2006

Another day

Funny how they keep happening. The kids have only been home 10 minutes and they are already at it. Its always either one doing something to the other (real or imagined) or they are NOT eating what I have prepared for the meal.
This is not unusual. This is life with kids for many people. I am just bloody sick of it and there is no way out except waiting. There are wonderful things about life with children but its hard for me to see them these days when every shriek, whine, "Mommy!" makes me cringe.
Life is taking on a boring sameness. I hardly even go out anymore. Richard even suggested a movie Saturday night and I could not be bothered to make the effort. I sleep, I eat, I wait for the day to be over so I can escape it again in sleep.
I did get ready to go in for my volunteer shift today. I made it out to the bank machine for parking money only to discover that an extra mortgage payment came out and we were over drawn (we don't have an overdraft, btw). money for money for gas. I came back home, waited for the store to open so I could phone in. Then I changed my clothes and crawled back into bed. I'd even put on make up. See? Why bother.
Later this afternoon, I took the dog for a walk just to get out. Fresh air and sunshine is good for you! It was a gorgeous day, thats for sure. The sun was shining and it wasn't terribly cold. Blossom thoroughly enjoyed the stroll. It was good to see her padding along with her ears all pricked up, taking an interest in the sights and smells of Autumn. At least someone was.
I take Ben to see a doctor at the CLSC on Friday. Maybe I will ask her about upping my meds or changing them. Something is just not right and its getting harder and harder to deal with it


Aurora said...

Sounds like your going through a rough time. :( I hope things get better.

Hantra said...

Sweetie, hang in there, and trust your instinct. Definitely talk to the doctor!!! Don't let this go unchecked. Thinking of you, and love you lots.