Monday, June 29, 2009

Soup du jour


I like gazpacho a lot. I had it everywhere we went in Spain to try the "real" gazpacho. Some were bland and some rocked. Guess it depends on the recipe.
It is crazy simple to make. I'm serious you don't even need to heat the stove if you don't want to. My recipe calls for the tomatoes to be peeled and seeded and for that I would need to have them in boiling water until the skins wouls slip off...and I am lazy. So I didn't. Guess what? Still tastes good!
Served cold its a great light lunch or dinner or a simple started for a meal on a hot summer night.

3 BIG ripe tomatoes
1 green pepper
3 cloves garlic
1 small onion
1 large cucumber peeled and seeded
1 1/2 cups tomato juice OR V8
3 Tbs olive oil
Juice of 1 nice juicy lime(or 2)or lemon.
Salt, pepper, Tabasco sauce to taste.
Puree the whole shebang in a food processor or blender. You may need to pour some into your storage container part way through to keep from over flowing the blender. I did. Season to taste with the Tabasco, salt and pepper and refrigerate until COLD. Serve it cold. I think some fresh cilantro would be a really welcome touch to the ingredients list. I didn't have any :o(.

If you have "helpers" they might enjoy this project. Its also a great recipe for extra summer tomatoes.

Friggin' rain.......

In my jungle like front garden which was supposed to be reminiscent of a cottage garden style, some plants have reached insano proportions. Like my Maltese Cross "Morgenrot", a salmon coloured flower. Its about 4 1/2 feet tall or taller but at least is in selfcontained clumps. Unlike....

The Beebalm.

Its starting to frighten me with its invasive tendency and height. Its easily 4 ft. Its spread has been swallowing the other perennials.

I see much rearranging in my future.

Sunday, June 28, 2009


This is the date given by some, to mark the end of the world or at least the end of the world as we know it. It is based on the Mayan calender and the prophecy that the planets will be in alignment and the poles will experience a geomagnetic reversal and thus will the Earth be changed and cataclysms will take place etc etc...

Its also the title of a film to be released in November. The trailer was shown before Transformers 2 and scared my kids enough for one to say he doesn't want to go to the movies anymore because of the scary grown up trailers and the other to question me about whether its true or not. Hmmmm..............
How to answer this question? At first I just said "Oh its just made up for a movie, don't be silly!" because I had forgotten about all the books and websites and 'scholars' who are touting the theory to be solidly based in truth and fact. This is an idea thats been floating around, has been grabbed by some and examined and blown up to be true because of crop circles and solar flares and ancient calenders.
Just because an idea is supported by many does not make it factual or inevitable. Science does state that our poles did "shift" almost a million years ago and therefore it is possible that we will experience such an event...but these "events" take YEARs and YEARS (we are talking lifetimes upon lifetimes) to actually take place. Some think this idea of a soon to be geomagnetic reversal is supported by the Earths currently weakening magnetic field. This is pause for thought I suppose.
So, given the opinion of many, do you think the world is going to end in 2 and 1/2 years? And if it is, why should I bother to try and lose weight!? Oh yes...I am trying to live in the NOW. Right...forgot about that one.

So much for a girl to remember and think about on a hot summers day.....

Saturday, June 27, 2009

Holy snappin' ar$$holes

Between 5 and 5:30 this morning we had MAJOR thunder that sounded like the wrath of the Gods was converging right over my frikkin' bed. Holy smokes! It was violently loud, woke us up, freaked out the Noonie-noo, and brought Thing One into our bed in terror. It even had the sound wavical power to move my bedroom curtains at the window by my side of the bed...I shit you not....the pecussive blast waves came in through my open window and made my curtains move. Thats some noisy thunder!!!!
I'm just dying to make some joke about it being Hman farting in his sleep or something but he might get mad at me embarrassing him yet again on the innernetses. Like thats stopped me before. heh heh
Have I told you that he's read two books in the Twilight series? Yes, I am married to a teenaged girl (market audience) and I drew his attention to this video online and told him a certain scene reminds me of him. I am so blessed to have a man with a sense of humour.
What got him started was the night we were bored and rented the piece of crap that is the movie Twilight. He was intrigued at the new spin on vampires such as that they can go out in the sun etc etc. This is so not True Blood! (Oooh...we should share that book series too) So next trip to the library I got him the book Twilight (I have to get them off the shelf for him because its too embarrassing). He read it very quickly and we discussed it some. Next trip to library had him suggest that he wouldn't mind reading the second book to see what happens next.
Now, before y'all go off on how gay my husband sounds (I know I know!) let me be clear that he likes a lot of science fiction and fantasy in reading material so this is just kind of a branch of that for him. Plus theres not all kinds of sexty stuffs to make him uncomfortable like in the books I read. He has also read a couple of womany novels like The Other Boleyne Girl and The Last Wife Of henry The Eighth, but these interested him in being well researched historical fiction not some kind of mindless bodice ripper novel. Its kind of nice to have him read things I like too since I tend to read his books on counter espionage etc when I have absolutely nothing to read. The feminine take on history was interesting for him because when he reads historical novels about the Roman empire and stuff, its always from a warrior or political man point of view. I like that he's a guy who is secure enough in his gender to try out some less than brawny man reading material.
Ok enough about him. He and the Spawn are out seeing Transformers 2 and having some male bonding time. Its been over 3 blissful hours of quiet here since they left.
Knitting: I'm still noodling on the Eienstein and the Xmas gift of scrumptiousness but after the BSJ failure I casted on something else to take the edge off and have been enjoing it too much to really work on anything else. So I have 3 works on the needles that are actually being worked on and 2 pair of socks set aside. 5 WIPs/UFOs....I might start hyperventilatin'. Oh shit...the shrug...that makes 6!!!
Change of subject: I didn't go to Effiloche last night and now I kinda regret not going. By the time I woke from my thunderstorm/rainy day nap, ate supper and took the kids to Blocckbuster to rent Wii games, it just felt too late for me to haul myself into the city, find a parking space that wouldn't get me a ticket, etc. So I stayed home and started a book by Wayne Dyer called Excuses Begone. I hate self help books but find myself drawn to them from time to time. A Dale Carnegie book actually enabled me to control a worry/anxiety habit that I'd had since childhood and had evolved to become middle of the night anxiety attacks, and I didn't even finish the book. It was very simple and effective. Anyways, at the library I saw this book on the New Releases shelf and thought it might help me get a grip on my unhealthy habit of over eating. I am reading chapters and taking notes in a wee notebook to help make the more meaningful and helpful parts stick in my brain and to have them ready for a quick reinforcement.
So far its an ok book for being of the self-help psycho-babble genre. Its about trying to encourage yourself to change your point of view and lose the excuses and mind sets that hold one back from accomplishing goals and enjoying life. I might even take to sticking up affirmations around the house, like my friend Donna did at one point, to reinforce the messages I am trying to take in.
Things I am working on:
The Excuse that "Its Too Hard." A point I found is that I am suffering uselessly in being depressed/unhappy/unhealthy/embarrassed about my weight issues. If I do something about it, hard as it is, I will at least be suffering usefully , which I hadn't really considered before. I'd only pondered the difficulty but not the fact that it was a difficulty that got me somewhere rather than in the same state.
The Excuse that "It Will Take Too Long." Well, yeah it will not happen overnight, getting a grip on bad habits and getting to a healthier size BUT in that same period of time I could stay as I am. I could be 45 and fat in 3 1/2 years or I could be 45 and fit in 3 1/2 years. I decide, no one else does. Not only this, but all we can really be sure of is the NOW. The moments we are living in. The future is uncertain so doesn't it make sense to not think about then and focus on being the healthiest I can be in all the NOWS that lead up to that day? To consider only the present, today, is a lot less daunting than to look at a period of weeks, months, or years of my useful suffering. Everyday I should strive to be a healthy me. Let the future be what it will, I will concern myself with NOW.
These are mind sets that are VERY STRONG and will be a struggle to overcome, especially when I crave sugar or pizza or comfort in food. These are some of my demons.
What are some of yours? Do you have a mind set about something that you want to cahnge or have shanged? I know some of you have lost weight, quit smoking, quit drinking, and deal with other issues. Would you like to share with the class?

Monday, June 22, 2009


I had an odd conversation this morning. A dear friend called and began to question me upon my sleep habits. It boiled down to my snoring issues. She was worried that it was a symptom of something more serious etc. Also, she knew I was planning on rooming with two friends this October while at Rhinebeck and she wanted to let me know that she didn't think this was a good idea. She had roomed with me last year, you see, and even with the foam earplugs I supplied, my snoring was freakishly loud and made it next to impossible for her to sleep. She never said anything because, well, why bother? Whats done is done but now she feels I will keep my roomates awake all night. That would not be a good thing.
Now, I KNOW I snore loud. It gets comments and teasing amongst family and friends...those who have witnessed it. It has always been so even when I was thinner but I do think that my weight gain has not improved the situation and has made it much worse. Since I mostly sleep through it, how am I to know that I snore SO loudly, right?
I'm a freak of sleeping nature apparently and should NOT be roomed with! Beware! I wonder how my poor husband can stand it? i know some nights he has to resort to the sofa, but then again, so do I. We just take it as the price we pay being together in a bed.
Jesus, I hope I don't fart an uncommon amount in my sleep as well because then I am seriously nasty business. I didn't think to ask because I was reassuring her that I wasn't upset with her and my mind was reeling with "How do I tell my roomates that I shouldn't room with them for their own good?"
All in all this sucks big time because I was really excited about the trip. Now? Not so much.
Also on the suckage front: The project that I casted on Friday night? Its bben ripped out completely twice and not to be tried again. SERIOUSLY!! I tried the BSJ (baby surprise jacket)in 2007 and screwed it up badly several times and finally gave it up. Now I have a friend expecting a little baby girl in September and I thought to use the leftovers from my Mom's sweater to make a sweet stripey BSJ. How can suck a "simple" piece of garter stitch knitting be so hard???? The first rip was my own fault...I forgot to knit the even numbered rows and instead performed the decreases on them as well. The second fuck up, I have NO IDEA how it happened. There are two short sections at either end of the whole that are marked with stitch markers...each section begings as 35 stitches. Withe the decreases they get shorter...then after so many rows you add 9 stitches to both sections. easy peasy...except somehow one section became about 13 stitches too many after the increases.
WTF? There weren't 13 extra stitches in the beginning! Where did they come from? WHY IS THIS EFFING THING SO HARD!!!!??????
I'm sorry, Kate. I was so excited to surprise you later this summer with a sweet but not TOO girly BSJ. It just ain't gonna happen.
Lets see, what else is going on here ...?
Hman's fishing trip with his dad was a great success and they came home with leftover beer because the other guys brought so much with them. They all caught their daily quotas of trout and his dad raved about the pourvoirie they stayed at. their cabin had 3 bedrooms each with their own bathroom! meals were flexible...if you didn't want to stop fishing in order to make it to the meal, they would serve you when you were ready! thats a big plus. the food was also better than last years he said. And the fish were BITING! We now have several trout in our freezer. Yay!
Today we took his SUV rental back and on the way home we stopped at the Marche 440 for a flat of local strawberries. OH MY GOD they are good. Fresh picked today and delivered not long before we'd arrived. They aren't too bland from the abundant rains we had...very juicy and still tasty. Shiny and bright red. Beautiful.
Then we hit the Grande Marche because they always have excellent prices on meats thought their fruits and vegetables are not so nice. For those I will go to the Fruiterie 440 later.
Strawberries to eat and the freezer filled with meat for several meals. A good day.

Friday, June 19, 2009

Thats It!

This morning constituted the last hours of the school year. Stick a fork in us, cuz we are done. YAY!
To celebrate we went to the used book store and the guys each got two books, then we hit Pizza Hut for lunch. The boys love them some Pizza Hut.
Then it was a quick stop at Blockbuster for a video and a Playstation 2 game, both week long rentals. When we got home the neighbor kid came over and played with the boys. I went upstairs, turned on my iPod and cast on a new project. I just could not help myself. I have over an inch done already too. Can't say what it is because the recipient comes here. While I knit, I listened to the last of the second book of the Dresden Files series, Fool Moon.
Tomorrow is WWKIP Day in Montreal. I'm taking the boys with me. That should work out juuuuussst peachy. Wish us well!

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

Wacky Wednesday.....

We are no exactlyish 1.5 days away from the end of our school year. I both dread and enjoy the summer vacations. No more alarm clock makes me VERY happy. Constant refrains about being bored and having nothing fun to do do not make me happy at all and I hear my mother's words coming from my own mouth every year. UGH. How awful.
Today Hman had to rent an SUV for his business fishing trip(he leaves tomorrow morning with his Dad in tow) so we had to go all the way to the friggin' airport. On the way back we got the first big feed of local STRAWBERRIES!!!! Nom nom nom... I also picked up some pepper plants since mine are both teensy and only 3 in number. Now I have 11 all together. Or 15. I forget how many I got (8 or 12???). Here's hoping I get some actual peppers from these babies.
I also invested in 4 English cucumber plants. My seeds did dick all so I had to break down.
Seedswise, I rebought and will replant the beets and beans. I think I had some sort of bad beans karma this year. Last year it was the peas that failed. The seeds sprouted..oh yes they did...but those that actually got leaves had them disintegrate or be eaten, leaving only the veins OR never got beyond that initial sprout OR completely lost their tops. This leads me to believe my culprits are birds, cutworms, and slugs. I'm NOT replanting the second patch of carrots. I had the sprouts going great and then they were gone. Instead I am going to try a few edamame seeds. Tomatoes, onions, lettuce, mesclun, first carrots, and spinach are all doing fine. The snow peas got their first blossoms today. Purple ones!
Here's a new mystery. Something dug a hole the size of my fist in the garlic patch. Not a cat because they don't tend to dig this deep. Hman has made my compost area unsightly with wood scraps and bricks etc because "something" was trying to dig in under the new composter. Something big and good at digging he says by the looks of the holes. Skunk? Racoon? Ground hog? Zoiks.
Tonight we are going to use our anniversary gift: tickets to see "Chicago". My black and off white dress is washed and ironed and ready for me. Isabelle comes at 5 pm to baby sit and I will be getting the boys and she KFC for supper.
I got my Briggs and Little order from the Devil known as Audrey and since fondling her swatch made of Regal I am smitten. Its a nice sweater yarn I must say. Softer than I expected. Now I want some. STAT.
On Saturday I went to Effiloche for Ginette's WWKIP day. I was so smart...I brought a jug of homemade sangria and my iPod with my wee portable stereo so we could have music. Yet, I did not remember to throw an extra ball of yarn into my bag and promptly ran out while working on my Einstein jacket. Boo Hisss. There was nothing to do but go into the shop, find something to suit the needles I had extra, and start a new project from my Xmas list. I can't say any more than its fabulous because the recipient comes here. Lets just say she will be lucky if I part with it.
This weekend for the Montreal Knits World Wide Knint In Public day, I won't be such a stunned arse.

Friday, June 12, 2009


is killing my bush beans. More bulletins as events warrant.


Its a fidgety kind of day. There are things that should be done and things that need to be done and then there are the things I will do. A little of each. Where to start? With the Washing machine. Laundry has suddenly multiplied in size of the pile which leads me to wonder where the hell it was all hiding before Hman found it and dragged it downstairs BECAUSE I know he didn't empty the bathroom hamper...its still full.
Tonight is knit night at Effiloche and I AM GOING. Wednesday's knit night as a fail since I was the only one signed in as a definite so I stayed home to be with myself in comfort. I think i am hitting a 3 week or even month mark of not getting out and its making me cranky.
ON the other hand...Effiloche is also having their WWKIP day tomorrow and I am planning on going for that TOO. Maybe thats too much all at once. Hman will deliver me to Effiloche and then retrieve me in time to go to someone's house for dinner where I will have to be on my good behaviour and not know what to talk about. Dinner with near strangers is always SO much fun.
Then we have Sunday...this Sunday holds a bone of contention for this family. Thing 2 is mightly desirous of participating in a Chaotic tournament (sorta like Pokemon but NOT ) in Montreal. It costs 25$. Hmn has said no...I have dithered. On the one hand, its in line with the kids interests unlike most other things we make him do. I checked and found out that its actually aimed at kids, not 20 something geeks with no life so he may actually have some fun and not lose all his cards. The registration fee entitles the players to all kinds of new cards etc so he is looking at it with an acquisitive bent as well.
On the other hand its a geeky thing thats going to cost 25$ and I will have to be the one to get out of bed early on a Sunday morning to haul his butt into the city and wait around for him to be finished.
Do it and be the best mommy ever for the day....don't do it and be the worst mommy ever and have it thrown in my face everytime we say no to something (we say no A LOT).
I am thinking that he needs to have this one time opportunity to try a walk on the geekside.
Much fidgetyness....much much much...I need more coffee.

PS: Terminator Salvation was kinda cool but too much jiggly camera stuff. Why does everyone do that now? eyes!

Monday, June 08, 2009

Why Audrey Is The Devil and other notes.....

An example of a Modular Tomten jacket with hood.
My friend and enabler Audrey is wonderful. She is smart, funny, an amazing knitter, and she loans me stuff. She also is THE DEVIL.
I have been trying not to buy yarn and have done a fabulous job of not buying yarn. All things on the needles are from stash or are UFO's that need finishing up at some point. Today, I broke down.
Audrey sweetly called to let me know that she was placing a yarn order and did I want to add to it...GULP. First I said no...then I said maybe...then I was running for my colour cards for this brand and asking for 3 of Rosewood and one of Greystone and another one of Mixed Green for a sweater I was envisioning for my sister's friend's baby girl....then I said WAIT! Let me think on this.
Then...and here is the beauty part...(she's soooo GOOD!)...she gently commented that her choice of colours for the project I had in mind were Rosewood, Oatmeal, and Ecru.
It was magic..I put the strands of colour together and the saliva started to flow. Its a delicious classy feminine combination that works for a female of any age. So I ordered 5 skeins of Tuffy (3 Rosewood, 1 Oatmeal, 1 Ecru) so that I can make a striped tomten sweater at some point soon, to fit baby Viola. I already have the most perfect buttons in my button stash.
So much for the yarn diet BUT its not expensive.
I am now listening to book 1 of The Dresden Files series. Its VERY well read. I got a couple inches done on the banner block I am working on.
I have turned my thoughts to Christmas knitting and already the anxiety is making me hyper ventilate. I may need to keep that on the "maybe si, maybe no" level. If gifts manage to get themselves made, great. I have things I want to make for ME for a change and even though its only June, I am a slow poke and procrastinator. I DO want to make my Da socks. Thats a definite and I have the perfect yarn in my stash. Thats the only definite I have.
This Thursday is the wedding anniversary of myself and my man. 15 years of wedded...whatever. HAHAHAHA. I laugh because its sad.... Oh stop! You know I kid. Tonight we went out for a walk after supper (thats another story on how my kids are big snitches) and admired the neighborhood and caught up on each other's business. Turns out on the night we are to go see Chicago at Place des Arts(our anniversary present)his Dad is going to be sleeping over because they are heading out the next morning for their fishing trip. That means he will be away and I will have the choices of hiring a sitter for WWKIP day or taking the boys with me.
This Thursday, the day of our big event we are gonna play hooky for the adfternoon and go see Terminator Salvation. Because nothing says love like murderous robots of the future!!!
Now, for my snitchy offspring: I do not have the best barbecue reputation in this house. Sometimes I hit and sometimes I realy really miss (like last years charcoal chicken). Tonight i decided once again to barbecue chicken, and set some to marinating. I watched that BBQ like a hawk. A slightly distracted hawk. I had the burners down to the lowest settings. I watched the smoke level coming out from under the lid. The next thing I knew there was flames coming out from the back of the lids and when i ran to the bbq the temperature said 800 degrees inside. WTF???! Fearing an explosion but wanting to rescue dinner, I opened the lid, flipped off the burners, and grabbed the tongs to pull the flaming parts out of the fire caused by the stupid chicken fat on the burner below the grill. Luckily it was only the skin that was burned (unlike last years charcoal chicken) and the potatoes in foil were not harmed at all...maybe even improved!
The kids and I ate supper (skinless chicken etc)and when Hman got home the first words out of Ben's mouth were "Mommy burned supper again and the barbeque was 800 degrees and the chicken caught fire but its still good!!!" Then he turns to me and asks "Is it ok that I told Dady about the chicken and the barbecue? I just really wanted to tell him because it was exciting." (at theis point I am rolling my eyes at him and reassuring Hman that the bbq is fine...jeez everyone gets so worked up).
I really must discuss with the children the concept of Need To Know. As in "Daddy doesn't need to know........"

Saturday, June 06, 2009

A sunburn.......

I has it. And even though sun exposure generally equals cancer to people, I am glad of the sun burn. Its not painful and the getting of it was just so frikkin' relaxitating that I cannot regret it at all. Sitting in the back yard with book, knitting, cold beverages, and tunes. It was almost perfection. Perfection would have been a lounger with arm rests and a waiter/beverage fetcher.
So, what to do today?

Wednesday, June 03, 2009

What is that bright glowing orb in the sky???!

Nope, not an alien ship come to take me away. It is the SUN!! Gasp! Shock! Awe!!!
Not only this but It is scheduled to hang around a few days and dry things up a wee bit. Sweet.
Its been a particularly chill and damp May. Just like last year things heated up marvelously in April! Woohoo garden garden garden. Then...the mercury dips and the clouds hang around and sweaters are NOT packed away for the season. I've even had to resort to putting on socks and turning up the basement thermostats, cuz baby its cold down here. When the temperature is warmer outside than in, I open the windows instead.
My dear friend Audrey popped in for a quickie visit yesterday because I wanted to show off the changes in my garden. She hasn't been over for a couple of weeks or so and there were many things a'bloomin'. She scolded me to take pictures but the camera is dead and I know not where the charger is! Those irises next to the baptisia need a photo, even though I know I cannot do them justice.
Here is a wee garden mystery: Something stole my dill seedlings. they did not die because then there would be wee dilly corpses but they are vanished completely without a trace. Very weird. There were 5 out there in the herb bed that I had carefully uprooted and replanted when I redid the bed. Now there are none. :o( Since I am toying with the idea of basil with my tomatoes, I can buy some new plants at the Pepiniere Quebec or Pepinere Mascouche, where I prefer to do my garden shoppings (rather than Canadian Tire, Home Depot local indies!!!).
I have created a very cavemanesque greenhouse enclosure for the peppers. the poor things...I started the seeds too late and actually had not planned for peppers. My Barb in NS had been to Poland this winter visiting her family there and came home with a pile of pepper seeds from her Aunt Henia's own peppers. When she sent some to ME (thank you to infinity, Basia!!) I dutifully started some but its was kinda late. As a result, my plants are quite wee BUT are hardened off and in the garden now. I thought that since they are lovers of heat, and we don't yet have any, I would stick bamboo hoop supports into the ground aront them and then drape the whole section in plastic vapor barrier. Its all held together with staples! LOL I really should invest in a proper staple gun but my desk stapler in the guise of a frog did an adequate job. Now when the sun shines I have to pull open large gaps in my "greenhouse" to ventilate the poor dears but they seem VERY happy already. I think this may make up for lost time.
KNITTING: Momma got her sweater in the mail last Friday and is VERY happy with it. she has done what all knitters do...turned it inside out to examine it closely from all angles and declares it perfect. She had never heard of steeking (cutting a knit garment for armholes or cardigan conversion) and considers it one of those newfangled things us kids today know about (its quite and ancient technique but in her knitting era practically every pattern was knit in pieces and sewn together, where as I prefer knitting in the round to avoid purling and sewing). I am so happy that it pleases her and it fits!! Glory be it fits!!!! Not too big and not too small. She finds the wool surprisingly soft (its very cuddly I must say) and cannot wait to show it off to my Aunt Viola.
I have ceased work on Einstein in order to produce an 8 inch by 8 inch square for the Montreal Knits banner to be unveiled on WWKIP day (world wide knit in public day). I have about an inch done but now I am wondering if it was supposed to be done in stockingnette stitch for ease of embroidering our name on it? Need to call our coordinatrice Janet to find out. I am using a green acrylic I had in my stash. its a lovely colour actually and nicely soft but very fine so I am knitting it with two strands.
The urge to knit baby things is still upon me. Also I have started planning xmas knitting. Dad is maybe getting socks (SHHHH don't tell)since the hat and mittens were such a hit and I have the perfect Dad Socks yarn in stash (an Opal 6 ply in shades of grey, blue and cream). I was thinking on another set of hand warmers for chilly Mom, but fancier than last time. Maybe a pair of "Fetching" ? Or maybe something else. I dunno. I have some superwash set aside for such a project.
For my dear neice's whom I LOVE to knit for because I can make girly stuffs, I am thinking on arm warmers/sleeves. Not sure yet. Or slippers... but sleeves/armwarmers are trendier. Or leg warmers? They range from ages 6 to 11 years old. Last year they each got Instant Mittens because they are fast and mittens are always welcome in winter.
Any suggestings knitterverse?

Monday, June 01, 2009


While wandering in the garden, I was taken by surprise to see that my white irises with a pinch of violet are perfectly complimented by the baptisia blooming next to.
This is not the first time I have been blessed with horticultural serendipity. My tulips are perfect together AND with the rhododendron (unplanned). The chartreuse foliage of the sweet woodruff makes my heart sing when the pink rhodo is blooming...they just compliment one another so.
These happy accidents just tickle me so much. I wish I was able to capture the images for you with the trueness of their colours.
I can't stop going outside to admire those big white irises and the just coming into bloom baptisia. sigh.

A venting cranky rant.on RECIPROCITY

This is not about what someone has or has not done to myself. This is about what I observe about another's sitch. I am NOT a shrinking violet when it comes to demanding my props where I feel they are warranted. Annoying and true. Its just how I am and maybe its in direct relation to those around me who are opposite and don't get the appreciation they deserve. Maybe thats made me what I am, a wom,an with a certain sense of justification. I do for you? I want thanks. I do BIG for you I want BIG thanks. Some gushing is nice as well. Adoration is always welcome as long as it doesn't get stalkery or creepy. I digress...

I know this woman. She is the most amazing person in the whole wide world (no its not you...or you either...go sit down). She deserves mountains of kudos and reciprocation for all she does and has done for the people in her world. What does she get instead? Not a whole lot.
This is a person who is ALWAYS there for the ones that need her, whether for a favor or a shoulder or even occassionally in her life, a hand out. She is the one that gets run to, for wound lickings and head pats and praises. She gets thanked I'm sure.

She deserves more, god dammit.

She only ever says no when she truly cannot commit to something OR when you have used her once too often and now she has your number. Yeah baby, she is NOT a doormat but still there are those that love her, continue to hold her devotion to them, and yet the reciprocation is not what I think it should be. Words just don't cut it.
In my opinion, when she has put up with your shit for your entire life, listened to your sob stories, been both your champion and your conscience, continues to give you attention and love and support, do you favors etc... when she needs a favor in return well within your capabilities, YOU FUCKING DO IT!!!! None of this "time and money and work etc" fuckwaddery. I mean it. You haul your ass over to her house and you do what fucking needs to be done and not only THAT. You refuse to let her pay you. THATS reciprocation. Thats devotion and love. Thats called being a fucking grown up and knowing whats RIGHT. Have you ever PAID her for what she does for you out of her own time, skills, etc? I thought not.
I have been brooding on this for a while now. Can you tell? Now that I am all PMSy and emotional and junk, I am toying with the idea of a phone call. A confrontation of sorts. That would be a very bad idea because I know I would come out as an asshole. This is not MY issue. This is not MY situation. Where do I get off?
So, I rant about it here with my eyes tearing up in rage (because thats what happens when us girls get so mad they want to smash things) at what I feel is one more injustice thrown in her face. She very very rarely complains about her lot in life. Most people probably thinks she just rolls with what the Universe has thrown her way and has an amazingly sunny outlook on the world. Its true. She does. She works very hard at not letting things get her down. She has spent her life as a hard working person that doesn't get the appreciation she deserves from the people she serves hardest. She makes the best of any situation and may be percieved by some as having more than she does, so why not ask her for time, love, support, favors?
So what the fuck are you thinking when she asks you for a hand with something beyond her own not unsubstantial capabilities? She's run into a problem she can't fix on her own, and after all she has done for YOU, when she asks you for help (and doesn't expect it to come for free) you turn her DOWN. What ...the... fuck??

After all she has done and continues to do, you give excuses. You turn her down. Leave her hanging in the wind. She's always had your fucking back and you turn her down. I am appalled. Surprised. Dismayed.
And now I need a kleenex, you fucking asshole, because you have made me SO MAD.