Monday, July 31, 2006

Totally cranky

I am feeling very grouchy. Its the fucking humidity. i am sooooo sick of it. that an isolation making itself felt again. I should NOT complain or bitch and out loud I'm not...mostly just here. This Saturday morning I will be in the Echo and heading East alone. This is a very scary thing. Never drove that far away by myself except when we were moving and the guys were in the other car near by. I am beginning to rethink the decision. Why am I going? Because some need me back there. Will this be a joyous trip? I have no idea. I am sure parts will be fun but others will be me listening and supporting others. HA! It is to laugh. Would be nice to get a little of that this way but whats a girl to do? It's nice to be needed but also hard when you are also needful. T'is a conundrum is it not?
I am looking forward to beach time again. It will be fit in around everyone.
Anyways, humidity makes me cranky which just colors everything else in shade of bitchiness so I guess I should just be quiet. We had a lovely, togethery weekend the likes of which we haven't had in a while. It was a relief to have a happy husband and reasonably happy kids. THIS eases my way to happiness and contentment. Cuddly loving times.
Why can't this be life more often?
Thanks to inlaws visiting the kids and I didn't go to the brunch yesterday. It would have been good to touch base with the community. I guess it can wait until another time.
I've dried some lemon verbena and lemon balm for future use. Peppermint is next on the list for snipping and drying. It can wait until I get back.
I can't even think straight at this point.

Thursday, July 27, 2006

All Hail The Great God "Blender"!

I finally got one of the offspring to try a smoothie. Why is this so hard?? they are very very suspicious of me when I try and get them to try something I made. I think this stems from times I snuck veggies into a favorite food with less success. Ben still says NO and runs the other way when I say "try this" but Cameron is more trusting...and eats like a horse so is less choosy.
But given that this is a house of popsicle maniacas that are sending us to the poorhouse with the expense, I will prevail. I bought 5 popsicle mold doohickeys.
Ingredients for the "popsicles" were juice and that frozen fruit you find in the freezer section of the grocery store. I made two varieties. one used canned frozen fruit punch and water with the fruit. The other has "exotic" fruit juice blend and the frozen fruit. The kids each had a fruit punch popsicle this morning after breakfast and declared them awesome.
This morning I offered up a smoothie and Cameron said yes. It was the popsicle recipe for the exotic juice and fruit. Soooo good. add some protein etc to the mix...mwahahahahahaha. ahem. Next time I will add some yogurt and honey. Tofu?

Wednesday, July 26, 2006

My Bathroom is sooooooo Clean

Its amazing what caffeine can make me accomplish. Today its fairly humid for me..I was soaked when finished the bathroom because I sweated so much. I am very humidity unfriendly.
My upstairs bathroom does get cleaned but its time (beyond time) for a deep down scrub fest. Today was that day. Walls were washed, windows scrubbed, floors super scrubbed...corners gotten into with a toothbrush.. the bathroom now gleams. I wish it would stay that way. I also wish for a pony and a plastic rocket...LOL Serenity related..funny to me.
Actually I would like a new window treatment for the bathroom. I hate whats came with the house and we aren't all that decorish so it stayed but I truly hate it. I think its time for what I want in there.
Anyhoo, looks like my trip back east is scheduled for me leaving on the 5th (Saturday). Its gonna be hectic. Doesn't that defeat the purpose? I'll start in Pictou county and finish on the south shore. Wonder if I can make it in one trip on my own?hmmm.
The kids are awesome today. They had Mathieu over to play and have been over shortly and now that lunch is over will go back. I'm gonna figure out a supper and maybe do some more house work but I'm running outta steam.

Tuesday, July 25, 2006

We're Baaaaaaack

Home again after 10ish days of vacation. Verdict? More communication is required about what we want to do and when. Richard feels that its was all my schedule and he had to try and fit his things in.
Other than that it was great. The weather was very cooperative. Heat and sun and sand and beachcombing and fly bites and camp fires and sun burns and family and friends. All good.
Now we are home and my period is making me cranky from the bloating, water retention and pain. BUT I feel very rested since coming home to my own bed. I love my bed.
Came home to gardens that had exploded with progress, weeds that also seemed to multiply by the jillions and a mouse situation in the kitchen. NOT HAPPY. 3 cats in residence and we have a mouse or mouses. Caught one last night. I hope its the only one but what are the chances? On the good side, I scrubbed and bleached frantically so now you could eat off the floors beneath the stove and fridge. Also they were nowhere near as scary as I had feared. All the drawers of utensils were emptied, scrubbed with bleach, utensils sanitised in dishwasher with bleach and detergent, towels etc washed. Today I stripped all beds and have the washer going . I have also disposed of some clothes I am not wearing and will drop them off at a charity bin. Now things fit in the drawers again.
As I remember vacationy things I will record them here. I should have journalled at the time but I suck at that. Some moments were when my older sister and I frolicked in the waters between sand bars near Point 44 like a couple of porpoises...wejust couldn't get enough! We found an insane number of sand dollars! Caught hermit crabs for the boys to look at too. Just plain fun!
Spent the first Saturday at Risser's for the entire day and Julie got a major sun burn but the kids did great. The water was chilly but Cameron never stopped the whole was amazing! Ben too.. They made friend with other camping kids on the beach and all had a great time. I'd love to spend a week there someday. Except I hate out houses and the showers are far far away.
Oh well... I'm sad to have left but glad to be in my space.

Monday, July 10, 2006

Shiny..thanks Tigerlily

Tigerlily of Whiskerwhispers posted about a neclace pendant she ordered from
Look at this!! >>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

My husband maybe be having a divorce lawyer call you for cause TLily :oD

Ponderin's..Ignorance is Bliss

Scarlet had an episode this week that has me secretly dreading my trip home.
I love my family...more than I ever have in my life I think. Considering how my teen years were spent waiting for my escape (adulthood). But I digress. Like any family with multiple siblings there is a fair amount of joshing and teasing. I try not to ever be MEAN with mine..good natured ribbing brings us all closer. BUT .....
I have some relatives that are not so sweet. I have had a weight problem my entire life. Would it have become such a problem WITHOUT the teasing? I can't say. I do know that being called Porky when I was 13 was NOT a self esteem builder. The only time I have gotten compliments from this person is when I was thin. Weight and food issues remained his weapons of choice throughout my teens and early adulthood. He is not the only one. My dad has made comments before (being if I don't KNOW I have weight problems) and I recall that when I was a size 9 my mom commented to my aunt that I had no ankles. I had NO IDEA I had thick ankles..who thinks of this shit?? I am...... on the raggedy edge ......having nighmares about being a fat cow with cankles (calves and ankles that merge with no real definition). If it weren't for the dreams I probably wouldn't even be commenting on this here.
I had a good run of weight loss in the Fall and early winter. Size 16 was comfy and even getting a bit loose in some brands of clothes. Then later in the winter and spring I got very low...SAD and depression ganged up on me, the diet went out the window and I began the ol' self medicating with food. Its like when an alcoholic falls off the wagon or when an ex-smoker starts up again.....the addiction demon just gets stronger every time. In my case with visible results. My clothes have gotten tight again. I'm having to consider moving up a size...the bathing suit that I finally found to suit me, albeit loosely, is a 20 (18 would have been perfect but apparently all my size sisters have been suit shopping this year and there are few if any 18s to be found).
I have good friends and family that love me and consider me pretty. One good friend who has had issues similar to mine with weight and self esteem and IS very pretty calls me beautiful. I look and I see a big belly wobbly arms and legs and a recipe for early death.
And I dread the comments on my downfall. They don't have to be at me...I know that they will exist amongst a select few. That is all it takes. Knowing. No bliss to be had.

Sunday, July 09, 2006

What a world......

If you turn off the news and don't stay tuned in, this world is a magical mystical place. And I am so glad that I have an interest in it!!!
Yesterdays herb walk with the fantastic Melina was in a word "awesome". Thats not even a good enough word. i wish we could have stayed aaaaaaallllll day and not just the two hours we did. The park was a beautiful...truly beautiful. Also a bounty of healing to those who understand it and respect it. If you spirit is sore and in need of soothing, stroll the paths and find a secluded spot by a stream and just the play of sun and shadow amongst the flora. Nibble a bit of violet leaf, birch stem, or a thimble berry (if they are ripe). Center and ground and pour your excesses into the Earth with gratitude that she always accepts you. Open your ears to the whisper of the breeze in leaves and the music of the birds. Fill your vision with green (opens the heart chakra). And breathe. In this hectic stressy life we don't breathe deeply enough. Fight or flight is always activated in our shallow stressed breathing and we exude cortisol! Breathe deep into the belly and let out the tension on the exhale. Stop the cortisol production for a few. Lean agaist that tree or that rock and just be.
I am in love with Mount Royal.

Herbs good and bad abound and Melina was a fabulous and natural guide. Her enthusiasm matched ours. We became friends with nettle, plantain, violet, valerian, mugwort, dwarf enchanters nightshade, and became wary of RED elderberry.(also learned how to tell the diff in flowers and berry from BLACK elderberry, queen of healing plants)
I hope Flora Medicina gets their english program going soon. I can't move back home until I attend. Hear me? You have 5 years, minimum!
Richard insulted Mullein last evening and called her an ugly plant. How mean is that??? I think she's beautiful and thats why I left her in the rear of the front garden rather than weeding her all out. Her fuzzy velvet grey green leaves and modest yellow flowers are pretty to me.
Nasty man.

Friday, July 07, 2006


No more day camp. I hated getting up so early even though it meant my house was empty for the day. I'd rather sleep in and yell at kids. :oD
Today i get my hair cut. I looooooooove going to a salon because I feel pampered and they wash my hair for me. Feels..soooo..goood.....(drooling snorfling sounds like Homer on a donut).
Tomorrow is the HERB WALK! I am thrilled and excited. Its supposed to be hot (not happy n'excited) and fine. So looking forward to this. What is an herb walk? An herb walk, in this instance, is going on a tour of an area with an herbalist and learning to recognise medicinal and magical herbs for future use. I need help with chickweed and nettles. Not sure on their identity. Those not into herbal things mock me for my vague obsession when I'm on hikes (husband) or out at public rit (SAM) but I enjoy recognising these plants. Once upon a time everyone (practically) knew these names and whether they were friend or foe. I wanna know! And I have NO idea why. Its always been this way . Will I make teas and tinctures etc etc? Maybe not but at least I'll know I can. It would probably be a waste of my time since NOONE in this family ever listens to me when it comes to their health. Make someone a soothing tea to ease a cold and bring comfort? It sits and gets cold and the person whines about how crappy they feel. "So feel crappy and shut the fuck up then!!!" See if I help you again you silly sob.
Ooh angst and bitterness..
And then will commence the prep frenzy for vacation. VACATION BABY! WHOOOHOOHOO. Herbs to meet (MUST GET SOME SWEET FERN) and beached to comb. yeeeeaaaaaaahhhh. Ooh and drinks to have with friends. And seeing family and getting huuuuugs.
I cannot wait for Thursday. Want to leave NOW.'s good.

Wednesday, July 05, 2006

Survey SAYS...?

Remember the old FamilyFeud with that smarmy guy that kissed all the women? He was creepy. But I digress.
I copied this from a website because some of the answers and the hosts reactions were so funny. Guilty giggle at stupid people funny. Enjoy!
I've always been fascinated by groups of five people who try to guess what 100 randomly selected people have said for a chance to win $10,000, which they'll split between themselves before splitting it again with the government. Which will leave each of them with about $32.87 for their troubles.
I've also been fascinated by how one of those five people will crack under the pressure and cost everyone else on their team a chance to walk away with $32.87.
As a result, I've polled 100 people to find the best "worst" answers ever given on Family Feud. The top 27 answers are on the board.

Question: Name a former President that most people would say is honest. #1 Answer: Lincoln Worst Answers: Nixon
Question: Besides San Francisco, name a city that begins with the word San. #1 Answer: San Diego Worst Answer: Seattle
Question: Name a slang term used for important people. #1 Answer: V.I.P. Worst Answer: Buddy
Question: Name something packrats have a hard time throwing out. #1 Answer: Photos Worst Answer: Corn
Question: Name something that might annoy a gardener. #1 Answer: Bugs Worst Answer: Not getting paid on time
Question: Name a reason a man might send his wife flowers. #1 Answer: Anniversary Worst Answer: Happy divorce
Question: Name a term used in football. #1 Answer: Touchdown Worst Answer: Fastbreak
Question: Name a special request people ask for when making a dinner reservation. #1 Answer: Non-smoking Worst Answer: A menu
Question: Name someone you wouldn't want to get a phone call from. #1 Answer: The police Worst Answer: Your son
Question: Name a classical music composer everyone knows. #1 Answer: Mozart Worst Answer: Julio Inglesias
Question: Tell me something specific you should drink a lot of when you're sick. #1 Answer: Water Worst Answer: Alcohol
Question: Name something you'd hate to find at the end of your nose. #1 Answer: Pimple Worst Answers: Lint
Question: Name the worst kind of shoe to run a marathon in. #1 Answer: High heels Worst Answer: Scuba flippers Louie Anderson's Response: If it's up there... I'll be suprised.
Question: Name something a person wouldn't want living in their house. #1 Answer: Relatives Worst Answer: Mold (I kinda agree with this answer..does that mean I'm an idiot too??)
Question: Name a musician who goes by one name. #1 Answer: Madonna Worst Answer: Reba McIntyre Louie Anderson's Response: Show me the strike.
Question: Name something you'd buy for more than a thousand dollars. #1 Answer: HouseWorst Answer: Pleasure equipment Louie Anderson's Response: I'm afraid to ask what that means.
Question: Name something you think would be difficult about being a waiter. #1 Answer: Taking orders Worst Answer: Falling down
Question: Name something a woman would find in her boyfriend's apartment that would make her think he was cheating. #1 Answer: Bra Worst Answer: Used condom
Question: Name something a teenage boy can do for hours at a time. #1 Answer: Video games Worst Answer: Masturbate Louie Anderson's Response: I knew somebody would say it.
Question: Name a unit of currency used in a country other than the US. #1 Answer: Peso Worst Answer: Ampere
Question: Name a reason why a woman might not want to kiss her boyfriend. #1 Answer: Bad breath Worst Answers: She doesn't love him that much
Question: Name something you do in front of your husband that you probably never did when you were dating. #1 Answer: Undress Worst Answer: Make out Louie Anderson's Response: With somebody else?
Question: Name a complaint you might have about the pizza that was just delivered. #1 Answer: It's cold Worst Answers: It went to the wrong address Louie Anderson's Response: And you just happened to be there.
Question: Name an animal many people are scared of. #1 Answer: Snake Worst Answer: Boar Louie Anderson's Response: It's terrifying.
Question: Name something you need to play Scrabble. #1 Answer: Letters Worst Answer: Dice Louie Anderson's Response: Where did you learn to play Scrabble?
Question: Name the age when a man might start to lose a lot of hair. #1 Answer: 30 Worst Answer: 14
Question: Name the best month to schedule a wedding. #1 Answer: June Worst Answer: Summer

Tuesday, July 04, 2006

Potpourri Update......

More additions...cardamom pods, star anise, and cinnamon stick pieces add a nice texture and a wee bit of depth to the scent. Some marjoram from the grocery store helps too. Its a strangely highly recommended herb for potpourri. Now if I could find some gosh darned essential oil for it I'd be happy..a Rose oil blend or some such. grr.

Hangin' In.......

Feeling a bit better and been a tad productive. Hair appointments made, cat food bought, basement vacuumed and furniture Lysol-ed to get rid of that lived in smell (I'm outta Febreeze). I know its a chemically thing and I'm all anti-chemicals but I hate smelly furniture...if I can smell it then its smelly to others. Thats just gross. Its not like I can throw the sofa in the washer and yes I could sprinkle it with baking soda and vacuum it but thats just a whole 'nother mess so out came the Lysol. It works well. When Febreeze wouldn't remove the smell of pee from Cameron's matress, Lysol did. Hey, ya can't run out and buy a new matress because someone had an accident in the middle of the night. I usually have a pad in place under his sheet but I had forgotten to replace it when I changed his sheets.
Anyhoo, I crossed some stuff off my list and thats good. I have a load in the dryer and a sleeping bag in the washer. The boys' sleeping bags are done. The trailer is washed down and Lysol-ed to lose that musty tent smell from the mattresses and cushions and I stuck my Serenity stickers on the inside of the door. NOW what I REALLY need is a bumper sticker for it. heh heh heh
I got a cool t shirt at Tigre Geant..color wise its ho hum (burgundy with navy blue trim) and it says: "Hard work pays off in the long run....But LAZINESS pays off NOW!" Richard said it was the one that expressed me the best. huh. nice.
It'll go great with my new cargo shorts and my jeans.
Is it wrong that my fashion sense is somewhere between 8 yr old and man? LOVE cargo shorts..LOVE comfy shirts, LOVE sandals... I wish I was a man so I could go shirtless. and pee standing up. But then when I broke out the heels and pretties I'd get looked at funny. dang.

Feeling Odd

Is it guilt because I am having a torrid love affair with ice cream and its beginning to show most unbecomingly on my face and belly fatness? Is it the humidity? Is it my grass allergy and the antihistamines?
My brain is fairly foggy and I can't seem to get enough sleep or anything houseworky done. This morning, making lunches for the boys to take with them to day camp was a huge undertaking..serious brain fog. Multi tasking, which I tend to take for granted, has flown out the window. This seriously sucks. Richard and I had a list of chores for yesterday. Well, we shopped. Then I needed a nap. ????????? Whats up with that? I was even getting stuff! When do I ever STOP shopping and beg to go home when I am the recipient of pretties???
I have to leave here at 3 pm to go pick up Cameron and then Ben..I have the whole day. It still feels like I have NO TIME to be alone. I want to nap, read, nap...why am I so burnt out suddenly?
I think it might be the camping gear clutter getting to me. Much has been moved into the trailer but the dining room table is still unusable for all 4 of us to sit down. That and we never finished the wall papering. it looks great as is so we haven't rushed to do more.
To do: get cat food
make hair appointment for me
make appointment for Blossom
make sure Ben's soccer uniform is clean
Get more dirt
fill garden bed #2
Dig up flowers to give to Nathalie and make troom for Grape vine and Raspberries.


Saturday, July 01, 2006

Hmmmmm...didn't see that coming....

Your results:
You are Padme
Princess Leia
Luke Skywalker
Han Solo
An Ewok
Jar Jar Binks
Anakin Skywalker
You try to be a good person,
but your boyfriend doesn't.
At least you look great.