Monday, April 30, 2007

Busy beee

Its Monday and the day the kids are at school all day. I call it my day off. HAHAHAHA

I had lots of coffee today and took it easy all morning, surfin' the net, watching TV, and basically being a lazy slob. Then I got busy. Vacuuming, tidying kitchen, laundry, litter boxes, more vacuuming (F%^&ing litter boxes) AND hand dying some yarn. With Kool-Aid.
The yarn was Bernat's Lana 100%merino in the most godsawful grey. Using Grape, blue raspberry lemonade , cherry and tropical fruit punch,I achieved possibly the ugliest yarn ever.
Thats not the point!!
The point is I did it my own self and it was not hard to do at all. I have another skein of grey that I am thinking would look awesome in Blue raspberry lemonade and lime... Also, next time I think I will dip dye rather than pour over/paint the yarn.
Method: Unskein the yarn by wrapping ot around the diningroom table and tying it with scrap yarn in several places. Soak big hank of yarn in warm water with vinegar for about 1/2 and hour. Wring out yarn and arrange in a microwave safe baking dish. Pour very strong solution of unsweetened Koolaid and hot water (one packet per ounce hot water) over the yarn in sections. Put plastic wrap over dish and microwave on medium for 15 minutes or so. Rinse in fairly hot tap water because the yarn and dish are HOT now. When dye no longer colors water, wring out your hank and hang to dry. VOILA! You could use one single colour for the whole hank or several hanks or try making self striping yarn using a few colours.
Now if only I could find a better supply of flavours...I mean colours...

Sunday, April 29, 2007

It is DONE

Its too big but its done but not blocked. I am dithering on the blocking issue. But the knitting is done and Ben is happy with his too big sweater! I awoke late from a knitting induced nap so we lost the good daylight and thus the lighting in the photo is not so good. For this I apologise.


Last night I stayed up very late watching movies, knitting, and spending time with my good friend Vodka.
The movies: Children Of Men (very very good) and The Holiday (could have been worse..not sure how...)
The knitting : the sleeve from Hell is DONE!!! Take that Satan..I throw your torture back atcha along with a whole lotta kiss my ass! I stuck it out through hours (LITERALLY) and hours of stockingette stitch and decreases, a false cast off, rippping back again and cursing, and finally it is DONE. Now for the neck/collar.
Yesterday was spent mostly in the car as we travelled to look at a dissappointing boat. Realizations were made by HM...a 26 foot boat will NOT fit in our driveway and we will need a marina for storage/parking. Investigations are being made into costs and availability before we look at anymore MacGregors. I knit alot on the way to the boat, munched a lot of patry from Boulangerie St. Donat on the way home. Resulting blood sugar fluctuations and travel sleepies made me crawl into bed fopr a late afternoon nap. Hence my late night with my grrrl Vodka and the pointy sticks.
We got a Playstation 2 for the kids. Their first ever game system (other than the game boys they got two years ago) for the house. Already it has been removed from their squabbling little persons. 6:38 Sunday morning and they are FIGHTING over it. Not good. Pissed off HM even more because he was unable to go back to sleep, unlike myself The Olympic Gold Medallist of Sleepage.
Was awakened later by Ben holding a phone at me and saying stuff....incomprehensible to the sleep fuddled idea who was on the other line for a bit. It was my Marla letting me know that her dad, being very ill with cancer, had passed over on Friday. She had been out of contact since last week and I was beginning to worry, though I knew that Frank must have been the reason. So, she called to keep me from worrying and to let me know whats going. His funeral mass and burial will be tomorrow and she hopes to get herself and the kids back home tomorrow night since they have been tehre since Wednesday. Poor M. I don't know what it is like to lose a parent yet and I am not looking forward to it. I bitch about mine a lot but I love them so very much as well. I wish I was able to give more comfort at times like this but distance and inexperience render me pretty useless, which sucks.
Today Sears is havin' a sale so HM is off buying clothes for work and the kids and I are here at home on this rainy crappy weather day. Maybe I will plant my new (Friday's garden center purchase) WISTERIA, which is really ALIVE unlike last years. People call me crazy for my rainy day gardening but weeds pop out easier and transplant shock is much lessened. Plus, its so much nicer to nap in the sun than sweat.....
I may have been a cat in another incarnation.

Friday, April 27, 2007

OH MY GODS...............

I feel light headed, woozy, and numbed.
It just is not RIGHT or FAIR for grandparents to lose their lives while travelling to meet their brand new granddaughter. What a heartbreak.

Its Friday....

Its been a very low key week. But good low key not depressed crazy low key. It was amazing weather until today. Apparently rain is gonna be our weather for a few days. Thats spring bulbs are blooming and could probably use a drinky poo. The Daffs will open SOON. I have one ready to POP but no sun today. The tulips are leafed out and growing, the squills are glorious in their amazing blueness. the thing that starts with a C that I planted last year in pink and purple..I want to call it Cikkachonga but I think its Chiondoxia??? Anyhoo, wee bulbs that are starting to flower wonderfully. The crocuses sucked though..OOh and my long lost "June Lilies" narcissus..I think I saved them and they are send up shoots. YAY.
Rose bush buds are unfurling to show leaves as are lilacs. Ben's clematis "Mr President" is alive WOOHOO. He is so happy. We found wee green leaves emerging from these very dead looking vines. Very happy. This is the first clematis I ever planted that survived a winter. Can I get a BooYa!!!!? It is technically Benoit's plant but Mommy "helps" look after it.
I saw wisteria's at the Pepiniere here in town...Am very tempted! Last years fiasco of a wisteria pisses me off still. But these are DEFINITELY alive and HM wants one. So maybe ....
The bridal wreath spireas I moved last year are alive and leafing and the magnolia we got and planted last summer is alive even though I didn't protect it for its first winter. I am looking at the front beds and imagining new lines..enlargements and reshapings to take up more lawn space and make for a place to use the "extra" cone flowers from the back yard. They are so overgrown and taking over everything...LOL thinning is necessary and back breaking.
I finally bit the bullet and ripped back the sleeve of my discontent. have begun reknitting from the colour work and will be most assiduous in my decreases. I so want it DONE already. New yarns call. New techniques and patterns..socks, and shrugs and sweaters... and hats and mittens... i wanna be done!!!!!!!! waaaaaahhh waaaaahahhh
My mom and dad need their roof done. They got quotes this week ranging from 5200 ish to 6000 ish and I freaked. They are pensioners and have no savings. Every year the property taxes are a major deal for them. Where the F$%^ are they supposed to get 6000 dollars??????
They have a small line of credit but even thats not enough. I called my bro the contractor and suggested a family roofing party like we did last time (a zillion years ago). The poor guy has a million things on his plate what with work and family (don't we all? well..except me cuz I don't work...) but he said give him time to think it out...
Speaking with mom she says that they have spoken to big bro and its being dealt with. I await news on what this entails.
I have left yet another message to the Cranberry Campground folk so's I can have a spot for July and August. I am so anxious to get to summer. I want beach..I want cold drinks in the sun.. I want my momma and sisters and friends....I want salty air.
Ok..Links for fun and education:
Sew Green A green themed crafting site. Green as in Ecological.
Lolly Knitting Around
Crazy Aunt Purl
Spacemonkey Pants
Suldog O Rama
Lainey Gossip
I Can has Cheezburger

Wednesday, April 25, 2007

Photo Wednesday


Ever have a day that just wouldn't go RIGHT?? I know we all have and by bad day standards this is pretty small potatoes but STILL..ARGH.
Benoit had his first visit with a psychotherapist today at 9 am. Thanks to A) my car being out of gas and B) traffic, we were 20 minutes late for a 50 minute session..more like half an hour late actually once we factor in PARKING! For which I got a TICKET!! ARGH! So, 90 dollars plus tax for session PLUS a parking ticket. (tantrum ensues with much preschooler type thrashings gnashings and flailings)

Now we are back home and chillin'. It can only get better. Ben and Cameron have their extra French launguage tuteuring at 12 and then their afternoon classes.
Today's therapy session, short as it was, made Sheila (therapist) recommend that Ben be tested academically, and her observation that he would benefit from having larger periods of time in which to accomplish tasks because of the way his little brain functions. This is something we need to bring to the teacher's attention at school. Ben thoroughly enjoyed Sheila, which is awesome, and he looks forward to his next session.
I wonder if I should just home school him next year???? Here is an Anglo kid with a learning disorder stuck in a class of as far as we know fully functional French kids, expected to accomplish everything these other kids can academically and otherwise, in their native language, French, in the same amount of time.
Round hole? Meet my little Square Peg. No matter how hard that little peg is hammered at, he can only fit in the round hole so well. I have made noises about switching to English school but been opposed big time by HM. He want the boys to have the full advanmtages og Bi Lingualism and with that I AGREE ...BUT...can't the kid get his French without being academically and socially challenged so? Aaah conflict..where would we be without it?

Monday, April 23, 2007


I bought the fabric and paid half on the fee for a dress of a yet undetermined colour. The creator of said dress and I talked as he did measurments and he drew me a picture or 3 and we agreed on the dress's style. I am loving the fabric..its swishy and drapes like smooth water over rocks.
No turning back now. I am committed.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Updates etc

Holy snap! Life is so accelerated these days. Filled with knitting and kids and stuffs! Holy stink.
All is well. Actually all is pretty awesome. THE SUN IS SHINING! Thats a big one to the happyhappy mojo I am channeling today. Or maybe its the coffee.
Ok...where did I leave off..oy what a week of joys...
Ok: hmm The Sweater! I declare it will be done TOMORROW if i have to sit and knit all night.
I am inspired to recycle yarn. To do this one buys used (yes..USED..second hand) sweaters with non serged seams, takes them apart and the unravels them. Yes..I am serious. Tomorrow is Earth Day. Get inpired.
Uuumm. Ok..Today NO boat was changed to smaller trailer capable MUCH less expensive boat. Maximum fun, minimum pain in ass factor. I love this plan. MacGregor 26 is the current item of Husband Man's sailboat lust. I encourage this idea. He can trailer the boat and launch that baby almost ANYWHERE! how cool is that?
Hmmmm.....OH and this does not mean that I lose my kitchen Reno which was declared happening this year on Thursday night. Can I get a Hallelujah??!!!!!! My house is beautiful..not real clean and tidy because, hello!? I live here. But my kitchen and my bathrooms seriously suck. The kitchen drawers are literally falling apart repeatedly and I have been nearly brained by cabinet doors coming off the hinge. Oy!! So, HM had a drawer drop crap everywhere again and said Thats IT! When we know when he's getting his latest bonus I can commence to making reno plans. Right now I know that its pretty much getting gutted. That is all I know for sure.
HM is getting a newer car. His choice is a lovely and fuel efficientish 2002 Acura 1.7 EL Limited edition. Spoiler, front hood ding protector doohickey, tinted windows, leather upholstery.... and fuel efficincy not much different from the Echo! Sexay!!
The sundress for Hawaii formal event is being dealt with. Its top secret at the mo. Sorta. Secret from HM because he is all 'Buy one at a store'and I am all 'Having a dress made to fit me!' heh heh What he doesn't know and all that jazz. I can say it is '50's inspired and the fabric is a hemp/silk blend jacquard and will breathe beautifully. Color is as yet undetermined since the maker will be working on creating a colour that I want..either a darkish blue or aubergine. This sounds stuck up and snobby and expensive but actually may be same cost as buying a really nice dress and having it altered to fit properly. Always a challenge and I am just too lazy to search the shops.
Cameron is beside himself with joy because his bestest buddy is coming here tonight for a sleep over after having come here last Sunday for a play date for the first time. This is seriously awesome for him. I remember having sleepovers all the time as a kid and now its time for the guys to start. If only Ben could get along with someone long enough to have a sleep over bud. I had high hopes of two school mates but sadly this has been hampered by Ben's outburst of anger. Not conducive to close friendships. This will happen though. I have great faith in his abilities to become more in control of his temper. Eventually. I must vacumm my heart out and de dustify my maison. Tis sooo necessary. All THREE floors (basement, main, upstairs).
Happy Earth Day Tomorrow!!!!!!!
Earth day Earth Day Party Time Excellent!!!!! Woowoowoowoooooo

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Benoit's Birthday

Today is Ben's 10th birthday. I can hardly believe that its been that long..then again somedays it seems like forever. This is Ben in Grade Primary with his teacher. She was so nice. Ben was 5. This is Ben in June 2005 and he was the FIRST one in the pool after we had openned it, got it clean and let it warm up. So, he was first born AND first in our pool at this house. There was a heat wave here that year and man, we made good use of 'er.
This is Ben last month. Almost 10 but not quite. He still likes the toys that come with Happy Meals.
Benoit Martin, you were my first baby. You taught me how to be a mother and broke me in for Cameron. I made more mistakes with you and sometimes I am harder on you but there is noone I love like you. Because of you I learned what selfless (and somewhat psychotic/ obsessive)love is. Thank you for being my child. Thank you for not breaking like we were so sure you would if they made us take you home from the hospital. US..who had no idea what the hell we were doing ...petrified of making a fatal mistake.... Turns out that while being a parent is the hardest thing I have ever done and ever will do, its also remarkably easy. The love keeps it going.
So even on those days that I'm screaming about how I understand why a wolf may eat her young, know that under all the Mommy crazy, there is a whole lot of love. A bottomless pit. All for you. And the drugs have helped with the psychotic/obsessive part so its all good.
Kisses, angel.
Love, Mommy xxxxxooooo

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Lets go crazy..lets get NUTZ

It never rains but that it pours, wha'?

Now my appliances have decided to have break downs of a sort. My appliances that are only 2 years old..not EVEN 2. We bought them in March 2005 but they weren't delivered until we took possession of this house in May 2005. that I see that in type, lets call 'er two years.
Thursday, washer decides its not gonna run. I fix it by draining it and cleaning the filter. Yay, Handyme.
Last night there is water on the laudry room floor. I did no laundry yesterday..whats up with that. Pulling out the washer shows a pool of water under the washer and dryer. We pull out both, wipe up water....pop of crap stick on tiles to see wet plywood with a bit of mildew. Heat goes up, fan is brought in, Lysol is sprayed repeatedly. It seems the hot water connection has been dripping. Today I cleaned intake filters (Yay, Handyme!) and we still are waiting to put the appliances back into place. Need some flooring or new crap tiles.
A while back a door shelf on my 2 year old beautiful Frigidaire came off. Yesterday it came off again.
This morning i slept in and when I got up I had the house to myself!! Wheee. then I saw the glass interior shelf of said Frigidaire is proped against the kitchen wall with the plastic framing of it all broken. My 2 year old Stainless Fucking Steel Exterior Frigidaire!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Breaking down like some old cheap ass piece of CRAP. Refrigerator people!! Oy! Put METAL framing back into your interiors PLEASE!!!!
There is seriously not enough coffee for this.

Friday, April 13, 2007

What a friggin' week........

Ben is still getting bad behaviour reports from school (except for today) and since this is going on HM decided in his infinite wisdom (sarcasm) that we should reduce Ben's meds rather than increase since his behaviour is still bad (anger issues). This after i spent 5 hours at the CLSC getting his prescription chnged for the higher dose... The new dosage helps his focus and attention for the school work but has no improvement on the hair trigger temper. Anyhoo, This creatyed a major rift in the ol' parental team yesterday but we worked it out and are seeking counselling/therapy for Ben and us for dealing with his temper outbursts etc. we found a learning disabilities association tooo!!!! YAY!!!! I can feel the hope rising..despair departing..
Also, there are summer camps for brats...I mean...special needs children like Ben. Cost a mint but the change of atmosphere and learning better social skills from someone else (might actually sink in???) may be of huge benefit all around. Which brings us to boats....
As in..Looks like this isn't the year after all. HM has been crunching the numbers..with needing to change his old beat up Echo for something more road worthy, needing counselling etc for ben, the fact taht the boats we looked at needed more work than we had hoped...its all adds up to him going mental trying to make it happen. I was willing to work in a strict budget for him to make it happen but he thinks its best to wait.
So, this year is no boat but less crazy man. Also, this year we can work at paying off more debt to loosen up the monthy coffers and maybe buy a NEW boat rather than a fixer upper next year.
I was wondering how he thought he was gonna make boat and newish car payments but didn't push the matter cuz he gets tetchy when I question his fiscal expertise. Its better for him to come to these realizations on his own.
Today I did a major grocery shopping in order to avoid trips to the market. I am trying to reduce our grocery budget to make Ben's help more affordable. Fewer trips means fewer unnecessary expenditures (in theory).
Also, I got a couple of new bras because my sister yelled at me for not using enough support. As if there is such a thing. Chyeah...right. Anyhoo, bought 3 nice ones at La Senza in an effort to boost these babies up where they belong so that unfortunate incidents like todays will not be so commonplace. What happened? you ask with concern...
Well, I'll tell ya what happened. I wore a blouse today. With buttons. Thanks to not enough boost in the bust the buttons were a bit strained...until they undid themselves without my knowledge. I discovered this at the check out. Oops a button undone..wait..another..and another...........
So, about 4 buttons in my blouse were undone in the boobular area at the grocery store. For an uncertain length of time....
I am sooo fucking cool.

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

I was Tagged....

Each player starts with 7 random facts/habits about themselves. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their seven things, as well as these rules. At the end of your blog, you need to choose 7 people to get tagged and list their names. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them that they have been tagged and to read your blog! OK, here goes:

1) For some reason people find me funny and the more they laugh the funnier I become. It might have something to do with liquor...I'm not sure.
2) I love my mother but she makes me crazy because I have no patience.
3) I consider myself fairly low maintenence but my husband does not. Baffling.
4) I love girly girl stuff like clothes, shoes, makeup and hair but am too fat and lazy to actually make an effort and use/do said girly girl things unless I really have to.
5) I drank an exhorbitant amount of alcohol in University. And not a giggly girly "Oh I am sssooo drunk after one beer" amount either. I drank like a longshoreman and I think I enjoyed it too. Its all a bit blurry....
6) I resent being treated differently because I am a woman but resent NOT being treated differently as well. IE) I like the nice stuff of being treated like a female but HATE the stupid stuff like the idea that I can't do something because of my chromosomes or won't understand something. Thats just gonna get you a whole lotta nasty from me. But thanks for openning the door for me, bringing me presents, or taking out the trash.
7) If ever I am single again I will NOT remarry. EVER. Seriously..never. HM feels the same way. Funny, no?

I tag noone but if those who swim on by would enjoy blogging their 7 factoids about themselves I encourage them to let me know so's I can read them.

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

Home Again Home Again Jiggety Jig

This is my weekend but the pictures are all out of order because I suck at this stuff that way.

This is me and my gurrrls Marla and Barb...Barb is in the middle. She is a knitter extraordinaire as well as homesteader that I became friends with when I had my shop. She was just starting to get into the animals then and I had disposed of my flock. She's oringinally from Poland and a former Canadian Armed Forces member.
Marla is a sailor girl since she is married to a thoroughly boat addicted man. And she can fix just about anything!!!!!! We hooked up in Bridgewater to gab and rummage through the bins at Frenchy's. I got a garbage bag load of clothes for the kids for 53 bucks. Gap..Ralph Lauren..LL Bean..
This is my latest stash enhancement. While on our way to Bridgewater saturday morning after seeing a boat in Chester, we stopped in Mahone Bay for coffeee and since we were there I had to hit Have A Yarn on Main St, the best yarn shop on the south shore. Heather had box of Fleece Artist seconds and I could have spent much much more than I did. You know, I really need to be independently wealthy some day....anyhoo, at 85 cents per 10 grams it was a savings of more than 50% and I have enough Fleece Artist sock yarn now for 6 pair o'socks.
How luscious is THAT?? And FA seconds skein is better than anything at Walmart. Seriously.

This is what we awoke to on Thursday morning, the day of the long drive East. Made longer still by.......

THIS!!!!!!!!! Lovely driving conditions we had as an April storm decided to hit Eastern Canada. Piss me offf.. It slowed us down considerably.
And going through New Brunswick was NO BETTER!!
Yet it was all worth it to sit at the table Friday morning, sipping coffee and gabbing with the mother of these gorgeous offspring Heather and Scamper.......
Scamper's favorite position is up on the shoulder so's he can be snuggled long time. He's no longer a youngster, being a much older brother to his human sister.
We basically vegged out Friday until Jessie called to say she'd returned home from an outting and then we descended on her and Harvey like fleas on a juicy juicy dog. All 6 of us. Jessie had handme downs for me and Julie and a lovely visit and wardrobe enhancement was thoroughly enjoyed. I got some kick ass stuffs and what was too small for my girth sometimes fit Julie. We are a similar build and size but my chest is broader.
Friday night we hung out at Julies sipping shiraz and eatting and visiting with Julie's Pal Dawn who brought he daughter samantha with her. Sam is Heather's best pal so all 4 kids had a blast together. Once the kids were abed us two mommies stuffed plastic eggs with candy and laid out the Saturday Morning Mommy Made Egg Hunt because Heather would be off with her Dad the rest of Easter weekend. These guys had such a fun time!! Too funny.
Saturday: egg the car boat "shopping"....Frenchy's and Yarn shop...errands.... Dropped the boys at Jessie's for the evening so HM, me, Julie, and her friend Janice could go see 300 at the Imax. What an awesome flick I must say. I was rivetted. But while we were enjoying ourselves the snow outside that had begun late in the day had gotten much much worse. We retrieved our kidlets from the spoilings of Aunty Jessie who had taken THEM to a movie, and went back to Julie's to feast on DONAIRS!!!!! and discuss the movie. Janice stayed over because of the snow and because..well, who'd want to leave such scintillating entertainment and company??
Sunday.. the boys found what the Bunny left them, we visited my brother Ian and his wife, HM cooked supper for us at Julie's while I visited with my sister again. An earlier night was had Sunday night and Monday morning it was back on the road to come home. How's that for a weekend????????????????
Dontcha wish your weekend was fun like mine? Dontcha wish your weekend was as hot as mine??(channeling the Pussycat Dolls right now)

Tuesday, April 03, 2007

New Show Alert

Sunday April 15th on Fox the premier of Drive will be on starring the yummy Nathan Fillion, formerly Captain Tightpants of Firefly.
YAY!!!!!!!!!! yayayayayayayayayayayayayay


Two more sleeps! We are all getting so excited. The kids because they get to miss an extra day of school even though it will be spent in a car, and also they love staying with Julie and Heather. They have also expressed looking forward to seeing Aunty Jessie, my sister, as she is their favorite aunty ever. She loves them SO much and it really really comes through. Kids respond to that so well. Plus of all the aunties she is the one that is most familiar.
We hope to go out Saturday night and see 300, leaving the boys with Aunty Jessie.
From topstitchgirl's blog I got this home waxing recipe
I am trying to work up my courage and try it. Hawaii is coming fast and furious as is summer and it would be nice to reduce my razor dependency..especially since I am semi forgetful and during winter thats ok but not so much in summer when one goes sleevless and pantlegless, and in bathingsuits. The thing is..I have an aversion to pain. Razors only hurt if you make a mistake. Waxing hurts when you do it is this logical or an encouragement? Another reason guys should treat us with tenderness because being a woman is not easy and is very confusing.
So, I talked big on Saturday and said I'd have that sleeve done. Its not. BUT I will knit on it in the car. HM likes to do a lot of the driving (doesn't trust me) so I should have several hours of knitting time if I don't fall asleep. The car does that to me.
I am happy about a discovery i made yesterday. Since I moved here the only place I knew to find a good selection of English Language magazine was Chapters..down town Montreal or out in Pointe Claire. Yesterday I hit the Laval Loblaws and while perusing their sad selection I asked a stranger lady where the good magazine selection was in Laval. She told me to try Archambault. I had no idea what that was though I had seen the sign for that store. Turns out its like a french HMV but with magazines and books too. Even english language ones! YAY! I looked but I ended up not buying, though tempted by the current issues of Simply Knitting and Vogue Knits. There are some great knit tank topes etc in the pattern books these day to whip up for summer in cottons and silks. Tempted I am...fat assed arms I have. Knitting sleeveless tops I don't think I will.
So that is it for me for now.
I am hoping that Ben has a good day today. The three of us talked last night after HM came home and has time to destress after avery bad day at work. We wanted Ben to know that he is understood and that we have those feelings too so we know where he is coming from...that said we emphasized how lashing out is something he can not do and we need to find ways to control the urge. He has been given ideas and tools over the last 9 years of tantrums etc and we continue to advise him to use them and refresh his memory. Deep breaths, walking away, counting to 10 or higher, plugging his ears and closing his eyes to ignore a pestering peer..... He lost his bike for a week, computer priviledges and today he has already lost TV for losing it with Cameron at the bus stop. Hello brick wall? Meet my head..repeatedly.

Monday, April 02, 2007

Parenting Abyss.... Not a happy post.

I love my children. I really really do. Unfortunately I find the whole parenting gig really overwhelming and spend much time escaping to my happy place.
My happy place is failing me these days with my first born. He has had anger issues since...ummm...oh I dunno...BIRTH?? No, actually more like from the age of one. He was diagnosed in late 2004 as A.D.D ( and no it is not just a label or an excuse to medicate a child to try and fix them. Come at me with that tired rhetoric and I swear to your Jesus, Buddah, or whoever, I will bitch slap you into next week. Seriously. Do not go there with me. Seriously.)
The child has major frustration with the world around him. It takes almost nothing for it to overflow. Lately this has gone into the the realm of smacking kids at school that are "annoying" him. Kids tease. They bug. You ask them to stop and they are gonna do it even more. This is his situation. And he does not handle it well. I see his side of it and I feel for him. I really do. We have talked about no hitting. No lashing out when he gets so frustrated and angry. No hitting unless someone is hitting you. Yes defend yourself but teasing and pestering is not a time for hitting. Since Christmas he has had a few hitting situations. He brought home notices and recieved what we thought were punishments adequate to the situation. We have talked, cajoled, taken away privledges, and yes we have even yelled.
Its ...not...working...
I just want to sit and cry. For my child. For me. For our family as we weather storm after emotional storm with this person who cannot seem to gain the upperhand over his temper. I am tired. Tired of shielding his father from it because the man has enough stress and tired of shielding my son from the big angry yelly man called Daddy when yet another notice comes home. We are fed up and have lost patience. I have days where I do not like this person I gave birth to because of how he speaks to us or how he loses his temper over small potatoes even here at home, his sanctuary.
I think its time for therapy. For him and for us. Because nothing else is working.
I really really really want a drink. And lots of inappropriate unhealthy food.


I did in fact have a rather sleepless night. The last time I got up and prowled was around 3ish AM. I camped out on the sofa in order to let HM sleep without my tossing or getting up repeatedly to wander around. BOY are floors squeaky at 3 am!!! Who knew.
So now I have some energy nectar known as coffee and am contemplating my day. I think I should venture to the wilds of Laval or Repentigny in order to visit a Loblaws which are almost EXACTLY like the Superstores back home. My favorite grocery store. HM did some grocery shopping on Saturday, picking up my slack, but he doesn't get all the right stuffs and in the right quantities. But thats ok because he does buy stuffs that I usually don't and variety IS the spice of life.
My 2 AM Poem that I kinda remember:

What made life grand for Mrs. Mimsy
Was infusing it with a touch of whimsy.
Things like: Twinklelights and fairies
For the scarecrows on the Prairies
And fantastical fish
Adorning her cat's food dish
Made her smile
And made a day worthwhile.
Yes, bits of whimsy
made life so joyous for Mrs Mimsy
But made the neighbors think her grip on reality
Was a little flimsy.

I had another that included a reference to Dennis Lee (poet) but I forget it. I don't make up good poems, I know but they are fun . I still remember a pinch of my Mrs Myra Mudbottom poem/story of about 11 years ago. I think I threw it out though in a fit of decluttering. I hate that I do that. I write a story, poem or lyric and then consider it worthless...only to need it months or years later. DOH. While I thoroughly enjoy my forays into rhyme most folk are not appreciative and tend to look at it as silly and lacking in proper meter or any other myriad of critiques. Alls I know is that I wish I hadda got up and wrote the Dennis Lee one down.
Something about how making rhyme is sublime blah blah and seperates us from species that fling feces...something something about cats yadda yadda And if you don't believe me, Just ask Dennis Lee. Thats the gist of the subject anyhoo.
Aaaah insomnia..the great inspirationer. (my blog..I am allowed to make up words)

Sunday, April 01, 2007

Sunday Night into Monday Morning

I slept in so good this morning and now I am paying the price. I am still WIDE awake as if I drank coffee allllll afternoon which I did not. Seriously. Not ALL afternoon anyways. yesterdays freakfest of parenting ended well. Ben now has a new independence of movement ..he is now able and somewhat allowed to go to the park and to some kids house to play and the kid was here to play too. I am still freaked out and tummyachey about the whole dealio but the kid IS almost 10 and should be able to leave the range of my voice. Which is actually quite a distance if I stop to think about it. Which I will not. one of the new limits was a resounding success.
I told ya all about Friday's shoppin's. I also hit the Dollarama yesterday and got lots and lots of stuffs. Plant pots so my poor hoya can FINALLY be repotted. I thought I would divide it so I got two pots but then I didn't bother so i had a big pot leftover. I got yarns and needles for Marla's little knitter Maranda. Ummmm....lets see. Jeez louise I spent like 30 plus bucks but thats all I can remember. Oh yeah..magazine storage doohickeys for my cooking magazines, boxes to starts sorting photos into, a binder for Ben to store his artworkings from school, Page protectors for said art, a wee storage box for wee things which i will use for stitch marker makings, beads for said stitch marker makings.... I love Dollarama.
Today I slept in late late late...11:30!!! The day was half gone!!! I jumped out of bed and was leaving the bathroom when HM handed me the phone saying "Call for you..." I answered the phone to hear "April fools day Mommy!!!!!!!!!" in Ben's voice. he was on the other phone downstairs. Aaaahhhhh yes...the April Fools Pranksing began. HM got Ben but Ben was NOT impressed. Cammeron got HM with a little help from me and was thrilled that daddy ..." He fell fow it Mummy!! He weally fell fow it!!!" which may not be the actual full truth but it made his 8 yr old heart glad so we will leave it go.

The prank was to go outside where Daddy was cleaning the cars out and tell him that Mommy lost her chequebook at the mall. Then just as HM's veins began to bulge and throb at his temples Cammie was to yell April Fools! I did not watch the show as I was in the basement laundry room potting up today's exciting find..a 10 dollar Gardenia plant from Rona. I went forth today in search of cheap garden soil and found no Cheap ones. So I got a Gardenia first!! Good thing I got that spare pot yesterday!! Its all potted up and looking good in the green room's window.
HM and I cleaned the cars today. 4 More sleeps to NS so HM figured we better get the Volvo clean for the ride and he cleaned his Echo too. Cammie and I washed the outside of the big V and I vacuumed a bit. The tempo was also taken down until next Fall. The driveway looks so open and tidy now!
I Vacuumed the house a bit too. Was sorely needed. The laundry was piled up again so thats been attacked with gusto. The washer is still running as we speak..I I type. The sleeve on the sweater is over 6 inches long now and my concern is that its not reducing in diameter fast enough. I will not worry too much though. It is meant to be nice and loose/baggy.
It was a busy weekend but also very relaxed.