Monday, April 02, 2007

Parenting Abyss.... Not a happy post.

I love my children. I really really do. Unfortunately I find the whole parenting gig really overwhelming and spend much time escaping to my happy place.
My happy place is failing me these days with my first born. He has had anger issues since...ummm...oh I dunno...BIRTH?? No, actually more like from the age of one. He was diagnosed in late 2004 as A.D.D ( and no it is not just a label or an excuse to medicate a child to try and fix them. Come at me with that tired rhetoric and I swear to your Jesus, Buddah, or whoever, I will bitch slap you into next week. Seriously. Do not go there with me. Seriously.)
The child has major frustration with the world around him. It takes almost nothing for it to overflow. Lately this has gone into the the realm of smacking kids at school that are "annoying" him. Kids tease. They bug. You ask them to stop and they are gonna do it even more. This is his situation. And he does not handle it well. I see his side of it and I feel for him. I really do. We have talked about no hitting. No lashing out when he gets so frustrated and angry. No hitting unless someone is hitting you. Yes defend yourself but teasing and pestering is not a time for hitting. Since Christmas he has had a few hitting situations. He brought home notices and recieved what we thought were punishments adequate to the situation. We have talked, cajoled, taken away privledges, and yes we have even yelled.
Its ...not...working...
I just want to sit and cry. For my child. For me. For our family as we weather storm after emotional storm with this person who cannot seem to gain the upperhand over his temper. I am tired. Tired of shielding his father from it because the man has enough stress and tired of shielding my son from the big angry yelly man called Daddy when yet another notice comes home. We are fed up and have lost patience. I have days where I do not like this person I gave birth to because of how he speaks to us or how he loses his temper over small potatoes even here at home, his sanctuary.
I think its time for therapy. For him and for us. Because nothing else is working.
I really really really want a drink. And lots of inappropriate unhealthy food.

2 comments:

Aurora said...

*HUGE HUGS* i totally know where you are coming from. My brother had a lot of the same anger issues. Unfournitly my mum waited until he was almost 16 to get the help they needed. There is nothing wrong with getting therpy, and quite often you will see that the person who is helping you and your family can provide a lot of great tips and solutions. Here is a quick simple link with some basis tips (sounds like you already know them though.) http://www.athealth.com/Consumer/issues/angertips.html
and http://www.angercoach.com/ARTICLES_02_parental_tips_for_angry_children.asp
and
http://wik.ed.uiuc.edu/index.php/Anger_management

anyways i agree with you and i think it is very important to catch this at a young age and give children the tools they need to grow up into happy young adults.

I hope some of these articles help. Much hugs and stuff.

Whaledancer said...

Oh Aurora, thanks so much for the helpful links!! I am so lucky to have a pal like you.