Thursday, June 05, 2008

Musings on a Thursday Morning

It is a glorious Thursday morning Chez Nous. The sun is shining, the new fence is almost finished, the kids are at school, I have done SFA so far except indulge in iced coffee and Dreamgirls. Life is good. So why am I feeling a touch of melancholy?
Part of it is that I really really want to go home for a visit. I miss Jessie and Julie and my mom. I haven't seen my new grand nephew yet. I want to give my grand nieces and other important offsprings hugs and kisses so that they don't forget their Aunty. Unfortunately a trip home isn't in the budget financially or temporally at this moment in time. Not that Hman hasn't tried to work it out but its either a whiz-bang-no-time-to-settle-in-and-visit-for-real long weekend or we break a solemn promise to the terrors and change our vacation plans and thats just not cool. You cannot expect your children to believe in you if you break promises and this was a big one that they have been counting on so I said no to the idea of changing plans. It sucks hard to be a grown up some times.
Part of the blue is that Hman has been quite absent family wise for the last month or so. He's had business trips, client obligations on weekends, yacht club obligations etc etc etc and when he IS here, he is either exhausted and testy or busy as a bee doing his yard projects.
Yet another part is the reconnecting with old friends. It makes you look back and look hard at who you were and who they were, why people grew apart, things said or unsaid that maybe should have been said, things done or undone that could have been better, loss of years with true and wonderful friends because of fears or self esteem, forgiving yourself and others for being young and impressionable and YOUNG. Doesn't that some up the foilble of youth succinctly? There is a lot of joy but a lot of regrets as well. Holy emotional roller coaster.
And lastly, HMan is on yet another trip with another to come later in the month and I guess I just miss his annoying person. I miss us together as a family relaxing and not losing patience and these days will return with the end of school and more evening/weekends outdoors together in the yard or out and about.
There is no school tomorrow so maybe my babies and I will take a LONG bike ride to the old town and stroll the park feeding ducks have a treat from the cremerie. Saturday is fencing day and the weekend forecast is for hot so the pool may have its first action of the season. This is something to look forward to.

1 comment:

Tara said...

Aaw, poor sweetie! sounds like you need a hug. HUG!!!!