Saturday, June 27, 2009

Holy snappin' ar$$holes

Between 5 and 5:30 this morning we had MAJOR thunder that sounded like the wrath of the Gods was converging right over my frikkin' bed. Holy smokes! It was violently loud, woke us up, freaked out the Noonie-noo, and brought Thing One into our bed in terror. It even had the sound wavical power to move my bedroom curtains at the window by my side of the bed...I shit you not....the pecussive blast waves came in through my open window and made my curtains move. Thats some noisy thunder!!!!
I'm just dying to make some joke about it being Hman farting in his sleep or something but he might get mad at me embarrassing him yet again on the innernetses. Like thats stopped me before. heh heh
Have I told you that he's read two books in the Twilight series? Yes, I am married to a teenaged girl (market audience) and I drew his attention to this video online and told him a certain scene reminds me of him. I am so blessed to have a man with a sense of humour.
What got him started was the night we were bored and rented the piece of crap that is the movie Twilight. He was intrigued at the new spin on vampires such as that they can go out in the sun etc etc. This is so not True Blood! (Oooh...we should share that book series too) So next trip to the library I got him the book Twilight (I have to get them off the shelf for him because its too embarrassing). He read it very quickly and we discussed it some. Next trip to library had him suggest that he wouldn't mind reading the second book to see what happens next.
Now, before y'all go off on how gay my husband sounds (I know I know!) let me be clear that he likes a lot of science fiction and fantasy in reading material so this is just kind of a branch of that for him. Plus theres not all kinds of sexty stuffs to make him uncomfortable like in the books I read. He has also read a couple of womany novels like The Other Boleyne Girl and The Last Wife Of henry The Eighth, but these interested him in being well researched historical fiction not some kind of mindless bodice ripper novel. Its kind of nice to have him read things I like too since I tend to read his books on counter espionage etc when I have absolutely nothing to read. The feminine take on history was interesting for him because when he reads historical novels about the Roman empire and stuff, its always from a warrior or political man point of view. I like that he's a guy who is secure enough in his gender to try out some less than brawny man reading material.
Ok enough about him. He and the Spawn are out seeing Transformers 2 and having some male bonding time. Its been over 3 blissful hours of quiet here since they left.
Knitting: I'm still noodling on the Eienstein and the Xmas gift of scrumptiousness but after the BSJ failure I casted on something else to take the edge off and have been enjoing it too much to really work on anything else. So I have 3 works on the needles that are actually being worked on and 2 pair of socks set aside. 5 WIPs/UFOs....I might start hyperventilatin'. Oh shit...the shrug...that makes 6!!!
Change of subject: I didn't go to Effiloche last night and now I kinda regret not going. By the time I woke from my thunderstorm/rainy day nap, ate supper and took the kids to Blocckbuster to rent Wii games, it just felt too late for me to haul myself into the city, find a parking space that wouldn't get me a ticket, etc. So I stayed home and started a book by Wayne Dyer called Excuses Begone. I hate self help books but find myself drawn to them from time to time. A Dale Carnegie book actually enabled me to control a worry/anxiety habit that I'd had since childhood and had evolved to become middle of the night anxiety attacks, and I didn't even finish the book. It was very simple and effective. Anyways, at the library I saw this book on the New Releases shelf and thought it might help me get a grip on my unhealthy habit of over eating. I am reading chapters and taking notes in a wee notebook to help make the more meaningful and helpful parts stick in my brain and to have them ready for a quick reinforcement.
So far its an ok book for being of the self-help psycho-babble genre. Its about trying to encourage yourself to change your point of view and lose the excuses and mind sets that hold one back from accomplishing goals and enjoying life. I might even take to sticking up affirmations around the house, like my friend Donna did at one point, to reinforce the messages I am trying to take in.
Things I am working on:
The Excuse that "Its Too Hard." A point I found is that I am suffering uselessly in being depressed/unhappy/unhealthy/embarrassed about my weight issues. If I do something about it, hard as it is, I will at least be suffering usefully , which I hadn't really considered before. I'd only pondered the difficulty but not the fact that it was a difficulty that got me somewhere rather than in the same state.
The Excuse that "It Will Take Too Long." Well, yeah it will not happen overnight, getting a grip on bad habits and getting to a healthier size BUT in that same period of time I could stay as I am. I could be 45 and fat in 3 1/2 years or I could be 45 and fit in 3 1/2 years. I decide, no one else does. Not only this, but all we can really be sure of is the NOW. The moments we are living in. The future is uncertain so doesn't it make sense to not think about then and focus on being the healthiest I can be in all the NOWS that lead up to that day? To consider only the present, today, is a lot less daunting than to look at a period of weeks, months, or years of my useful suffering. Everyday I should strive to be a healthy me. Let the future be what it will, I will concern myself with NOW.
These are mind sets that are VERY STRONG and will be a struggle to overcome, especially when I crave sugar or pizza or comfort in food. These are some of my demons.
What are some of yours? Do you have a mind set about something that you want to cahnge or have shanged? I know some of you have lost weight, quit smoking, quit drinking, and deal with other issues. Would you like to share with the class?


Anonymous said...

Hmmm. Mine. When I get overwhelmed I paralyze. Then I play stupid games on facebook rather than work on what I really, really need to do. I'm (hopefully) facing a seperation soon and need to be able to support my kids- so I really need to focus. There might be something in focusing on the day to help.

Ali P said...

Aaww babe. Good luck with all of that upheaval.
I think that focussing more on the immediate would help. Prioritising I guess some might call it, but doing the best you can in the moment is all anyone can do.
Hugging you.

Tara said...

Sounds to me like you're taking your first steps in a life-affirming journey, sweetie. Sounds really cheesy, I know. But you really do have to start out with baby steps, and recognize that every little thing you do for yourself is worth it. YOU'RE worth it.

Then you get a tattoo and you feel like an Amazon :)