Wednesday, August 18, 2010

Nova Scotia

Hello from wonderful Nova Scotia! The boys and I drove here on Thursday last and have been enjoying as much as we can of the beaches and our wonderful friends and family.We were blessed with sunshine for the first 4 days of our visit and managed to do 5 beaches in 3 days! By Monday Cam flat out refused to even consider a beach outing, claiming he was "beached out". So we went shopping!
You just can't beat Guy's Frenchies, the best thrift store shopping ever! I went into the nearest one, hoping for some pants for the fast growing Thing 2, and came out 58 dollars poorer and his wardrobe quite enhanced ( manly terry bathrobes for both boys, 1 pair jeans, one pair cords, one pair Tony Hawk cargo shorts, several shirts for Cam and at least 2 for Ben). I also got a couple of tops for the cooler weather for myself (4). And a couple of books (3). Beat that retail stores!

Tuesday, which is still today in my head, we went to visit my mom and dad. I timed it to send the boys to a movie while I went to pick up my mom and together she and I went to the home. Dad's been moved now, for a couple weeks almost I think, to the more secure but much more enfeebled infirmary wing. It smells like pee. Its noisy with various yowlings and hacking coughs etc. When we arrived, the nurse dad was speaking to pointed us out to him as we approached but we didn't really register with him. He continued to mutter and ramble at the nurse and gradually we eased him away to get changed from his soiled pj's to clean ones. Then we managed to coax him into a wheelchair because walking was tiring him, and took him outside for fresh air and a turn or twenty around the gardens. Through it all he continued to be fairly incoherant. I would make comments on what was there and he commented on what he percieved and if we were lucky it might be the same thing. Yet, for all that he was more or less content. His eyes were bothering him so he tried eating supper with his eyes closed, with some assistance from me. At this point I had to pick the boys up so we said our goodbyes, which didn't much register with Dad. Mom, as usual, tried to force his attention but can't seem to understand that it doesn't work or why it doesn't. Its not a willful thing. Taking his face and turning him to face her, eye to eye , and speaking firmly as if to a child does not work and usually agitates him. Trying the same method to get a kiss goodbye while he is focusing on his supper is also doomed to failure. She still does it though. I was content to kiss his head and offer a gentle hug that didn't interfere with his dinner attention and a heartfelt "I love you, daddy" to which he actually replied with a a lovely response, though I'm not sure he meant it for me, since I'm not 100% sure he knew who I was.

We left and retrieved my boys and took mom to the grocery store where she got disoriented as to what aisle the tissue paper prducts were in. Rather than take my suggestion that we try the next aisle she chose to ask a store employee where the Kleenex was. He jovially answered that the paper products were in the next aisle. She then insisted taht they'd been moved from the aisle we were in and where she was sure she always bought it. His confused yet eager to help expression and answer to the negative that no, they hadn't been moved, kind of clued Mom in that she was wrong. Once we reminded her what we were there for again(diabetic vanilla Boost and Kleenex), she was ok again. I got her a cold rotisserie chicken plate for dinner thinking it would be more substantial that the leftover soup she was planning to have. Then we took Mom home.

I know its wrong but I can hardly stand to be around her, at least in her house. I know she wanted us to stay longer and for supper but the idea of it made my skin crawl. I spent my teen years in that house, and they were not terrible by any means, but now as an adult it makes me claustrophobic. The nictine stained walls and ceiling, the smells of air fresheners and the like OVER the stink of 30 years of cigarettes nauseates me, and after the mice incident from my last visit ...!? My usually mild germ phobia rears its ugly head. ( my house maybe untidy and carry its own patina of grime but I also disinfect quite a bit. I go through a lot of environmentally unfriendly and possibly toxic disinfecting wipes and a fair bit of bleach in the run of a month thanks to my better-than-it-used-to-be germ issue. And hand soap...but I digress).

I am so gonna go to hell for not being more tolerant of my elderly Mother.

I need some more beach time I think. Hello, Clam Harbour this weekend!


Tara said...

I'm sorry your parents are having such a rough time, Alison. And no, I don't think you'll go to Hell for not wanting to stay in an unpleasant environment. You take great care of your parents. Karma is going to pay you back big time :)

Anonymous said...