I have lived away from my friends and family for 5 long years now. We get back east fairly often and try hard to fit people in to our visits. Most folk cannot come visit due to finances and work schedules etc and we get that and accept it. What I get hurt by is those that can fit any other trip or event into their very busy lives and budgets, but yet never ever have yet made the attempt to reciprocate a visit here despite numerous invitations and their "Oh i would love to be able to come visit...maybe next summer" comments.
I am trying very hard not to be hurt or take it personally. I am trying to be a grown up about it. Yet, when you are repeatedly NOT a priority in loved ones lives, it really hurts. Alot.
I must be PMSing to even give a shit.
Wednesday, July 14, 2010
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6 comments:
I completely agree with you - it DOES hurt. This is one of the hardest parts of living far away. On the other hand, I find it also very enlightening. Because there are not only the ones who seem to disappear into vague and never-kept promises, but also the others: those who you would never expect to show up, those who you would never think to write an e-mail when you post that you have a tough time - but who do. And suddenly you realise with whom you have a maybe thin, but strong bond - and which bonds you believed to be strong are just thick, but slack. It's sometimes hard to let go the latter. But don't let PMS overcome you, think of the other ones, the ones with the thinner, but shiny bonds :-)
OK, lemme ask you though: are you making it back East to visit FAMILY, and then taking the opportunity to see friends at the same time? (2 birds, 1 stone). Because that can make a difference. I understand your hurt though. Sounds like you miss your people, which I get. Hugs. You've got people right here in Frenchie-province too :)
Ouch.
I can understand how you can feel disappointed in others. I recently was very disappointed in some family members who couldn't be bothered to come to my wedding (even though they all live within an hour's drive from the reception site). I've since decided to completely change the way I deal with them - I'm now limiting the family events I go to and limit my associations with them to "hi" and "bye". It sucks but why waste time on some people who don't even try when there are plenty of other people who do try and are worth the time. It still hurts though, it really does.
PMS doesn't help either - I'm there too! ;-)hem
Hmmmm, makes me wonder if I should ask if you can put me and Anna up for a night or two in late August, lolol.
One of these days I will visit you, and one of these days you will see where I live. Love you lots long distance.
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