In which I am not a very skilled craftster......

Halloween is looming over my head like a big candy laden storm cloud. Itsn't this way a few hours ago! Then I was making Ben's pirate sleeveless jacket and, well, my true ineptness came roaring out. If only things could be made like on cartoons, where there is a frenzy of scissors and thread and maybe a tornado thrown in and VOILA! Its made and everyone ooohs and aahhhs. My personal sewing tornado was more like "Oh F%&$!!! SH&*!!! Sonnuva B%$&!!!!!"
Problem one: I have no pattern, just a mental picture of what I am trying to make.

Problem 2: I have almost no sewing skills. I did very poorly in Home Ec thank YOU very much.
I cut shiny, brownish, cheap, taffeta type fabric a la The Grinch making his Santa suit.
I sewed wrong parts in wrong places or on the wrong side of the "garment".
At one point the machine needle went through my left pointer finger's nail, causing both me to scream and curse visciously and the needle to break. Thank Gods for cheap needles eh? It was painful but very minor with only a small drop of blood welling up from the nail puncture.
I started hemming said "garment' and discovered it was backwards and had to rips out the stitching to fold the fabric the other way and start hemming again. I was in the home stretch of this piece of crap and then my machine...died. It made this wierd noise and kinda clanked and jammed. Opening it up resulted in the bobbin and its housing to drop out of the machine.
"Hmmm...thats not right..." was my thoughts. Even the machine knows I suck...It knows it so well it practically commited suicide rather than continue. I know the bobbin and stuff goes back in but I'm too fed up to frig around with it.
I hand basted the hem into place and will try and find two minutes to run it through a machine at work tomorrow. Sometime between tomorrow and Friday I will sew the shiny gold buttons on and pray noone looks real close at the whole thing. Ben thinks its just great, but then again, he didn't really look at it all that well when I tried it on him. Its brown, no sleeves, no collar, to be worn open over the shirt (to come later), sash, and pirate jewellery. He's thrilled with it.
I love my kid.