Better..........

I feel better now. It took most of the day for me to shed that fucked up mood but I have done it. I did arrange for the babysitter to get the boys tomorrow and Sam called to say that she's still free to hook up with me. Even after all that I was still uber nuts. Lots of deep breathing and trying not to break down in front of folk (including the kids). whew Sucks to be me today.
Tonight everything went smooth. Supper went well with the kids, I got them showered and blow dried and we read the first 4 chapters of Captain Underpants and The Attack of the Talking Toilets. Cameron is loving it big time. He has such a giggle that comes right from his toes and sometimes sounds like he has the hiccups when he really gets going. Especially when I do the "Tra La Laaaaa" of Capt. Underpants. This will be fast and successful bedtime reading. We have volumes 2 and 3. Must get more. Can never have too many underpants .
Once I had them brushing their teeth I told Richard they were his for putting to bed and I went to Curves to work out some of this funk. I got measured too. For some reason (bloating?) my abdomen was an inch larger but my bust and waist were smaller (2 1/2 inches combined). Also, my body fat is down 4 pounds, not that the numbers on the scale show that. Just goes to show, there is more going on than what the scale says. Building muscle makes it look as though you aren't losing or might even seem like you are gaining! Its good to be patient and not get down about it. All this and I haven't been making it there 3 times a week like I should...doh. Must...Try...Harder.

What is up with this????

I arranged a sitter to collect the boys so I will not need to miss out on time at Scarlet's aaaannnnnddd I can still get out to catch a flick either with Sam or on my own. I need a serious time out. Funny how you don't realise how stressed you are until the smallest thing, such as not being understood due to a language barrier, can just about make you burst into tears. This is me today. I am sick of not being able to find a family doctor and pediatrician because of language barriers, I am sick of not having my friends near, I am sick of feeling incapable of doing all the things I was used to doing before brcause I cannot understand or make myself understood, I am sick of people calling in French and then being rude because I am English, I am sick of calling somewhere and being treated rudely because I am English, I am sick of being the new one and the odd one out...I am just SICK of being here today.
I want my mommy.
I want my friends, the ones that get my jokes, quirks, moods, you name it,...they KNOW me deep inside and there is that comfort in just being together..
I wanna go home.
I wanna go to bed for a week until this passes, whatever this is...
I want the pain in my chest and tummy to go away....
I want.......I just want...and cannot have........

Tension in da house

Yes we have tension..friction..irritation..happening here. It all started Sunday night. I won't say what since its personal in a big way but its just enough to cause a teensy bit of snark that rears its head waaaaay too fast at anything.
Now I can't sleep properly at night...cooincidence? I think not. On top of that and creating more tension:
My plans for Friday are buggered up thanks to someone "forgetting" our agreement for him to pick up the boys from Service De Garde before 6 pm on my class day (once every 2 weeks). The traffic is very very bad in the afternoon from Scarlet's and to make it to pick up the boys before 6 , I must leave her place by 4 at the latest. This so totally sucks. I do not like haveing my plans so totally disregardede in this fashion. i know he just "forgot" but still, he was reminded and it makes me feel unimportant that he can't remember our agreement. I am trying not to feel petty about this...it is his jOB after all..not going out with the guys...grrrrrrrr. deep breathing...
PLUS I such super cool plans for that evening too! I was going to the movies with Sam the Elf(to see Kinky BOots), a fellow volunteer from the MPRC. We have a big gap in age but get along really well and have fun together. Its her last Friday night before going home for summer break and would have been very fun. He has suggested getting our teen babysitter to pick them up but she's not authorised and can't cook the boys supper...Richard suggested letting them order pizza...he will be home around 7 pm.. Maybe if I give written permission today they will let her get the boys....
See? I get so pissed off that I cut my nose off to spite my face and make things worse. I am not being fair..I realise this deep inside...deep breathing...let go of anger... I also need Isabelle for Saturday night since we are supposed to go to richard's coworker friends place for supper... do I want to go? Not really, but he committed us to the supper. The petty side wants to "forget " to book the sitter since I know he hasn't done it.. GODS I am such a bitch!!!!!!!! ugh
banishing nasty thoughts banishing nasty thoughts
This is sooo not healthy. More tension last night when he was supposed to be "helping" Ben with homeork and ended up losing his temper with him. Guys, when you lose it, its scary. You are a gigantic loud person and the child is small and defenceless no matter how big a pain in the ass.
Mama Bear reared her head and ordered him out of the room and took over, soothing the tears and helping with the small bit of homework. To be fair, I lose my temper with Ben too over homework. He gets so whiny and just won't/can't try. This was what the problem was and R just did not have any patience with it at the best of times, and lately his stress levels have been troubling him. So, Why can't I cut R the slack? Because men in a temper are SCARY and it doesn't help the problem involved but makes it worse. I am proud that I came up with a solution to Ben's being overwhelmed with choices, but upset that it came down to angry words (R at B..Me at R). Richard spent the remainder of the evening in the family room downstairs. I went to bed after putting the boys to bed. Trouble sleeping..cooincidence? Ended up on the couce for the 3rd time this week so that I wouldn't keep Richard awake with my tossing and turning.
We finished the reading aloud of Harry Potter And The Half Blood Prince last night. I can't wait to start something new tonight. Captain Under Pants perhaps? After those maybe we will go to Chapters and get something new and exciting and entertaining. And not quite so looong in chapter length.
I feel a bit better now having vented...I've been feeling a bit lonely because of all this and was wondering if my meds had stopped being effective or something because I have been depressed the last few days but now feel better able to make things better. Thank you Blog.

A fun bit of oddness that I enjoy....

......The Infinite Cat Project. Go here now...run, run like the wind! http://www.infinitecat.com/infinite/cat1.html
Hope you find something to make you smile today. You deserve it!


Love, Me

What a girls wants..........

........... while visiting Hobbes' tiger cage I came upon a link to an article about men's roles ( http://www.macleans.ca/topstories/life/article.jsp?content=20051031_114332_114332 ). It got me to thinking....what do WE want in a man??? Of course every woman will answer differently about what they like in a man. As a married woman should I even be considering what I "want" in a man when I have one? Hmmm...thats a conundrum ain't it. Well I maybe married, and usually in love, but I am not dead in that an attractive (to me) male can't make my nostrils flare and tummy flutter. In examining what I would like in a FANTASY man I am very contradictory...and I think that this is where the mixed signals men have come in, in general. Poor little things..while we bitch about men wanting brainless barbi doll women that drop trou at the wink of an eye, are we any better..or less confusing? This article looks at how girly men have become in media...do we look for this in real life/ hmmmm....
I like men that dress nicely...not like magazine cover but not in ripped sweats either. Guys, find the middle ground! Those of you that have, BRAVO! Those of you that go around in sports shirts and baggy ass pants..get a friggin' grip.
I like men that are funny but not "on" all the time...that is tiresome. A dry sense of humor and a sense of the ridiculous is stimulating.
I like men that have some gallantry or chivalry towards women but please do NOT let us walk all over you...cuz we will! And who can respect a doormat?
I like a man who is sensitive but not a cry baby..oh boo hoo the poor "insert downtrodden people or animals here", i just get so choked up!! Uuuumm..not attractive. Suck it up! Care but don't be a sooky! Whiney ass.
See how contradictory I am?
Plus, I don't want to be bossed around and told what I can or cannot do...who do you think you are my Father?? Piss off! But in the bedroom sometimes a gal LIKES to be overcome by the male (in a GOOD way). It makes some of us feel attractive, desirable, irresistable, and feminine..especially those of us that tend to be strong and capable...take that burden off our shoulders sometims eh? We don't always want to be the aggressor or leader in the sack although it can be a power trip by times and enjoyable for y'all as well I am sure. But to have to do aaaalll the work all the time? C'mon! There must be a balance....
So..I want a funny, well presented , sensitive man thats an uncouth over sexed mercenary/pirate in the sack...what's so wrong with that?

Welll...That was redundant.......

I thought Sundays post haddn't published......
It is Tuesday...drizzly and cold. I am noticing my energy waxes and wanes with the sun these days..Shitty days and I wanna sleep all day (I don't! I just wanna), sunny days and I am a hyperactive space monkey (in comparison). Odd, no?
Sooooooo, test on Friday (stone lore)and I think I am going to go to a movie Friday night after being at Scarlet's. I want to see Kinky Boots or Slither, each movie featuring a Serenity cast member. Now, Kinky Boot's story appeals to me most BUT Slither starts Cap'n Tightpants, Nathan Fillion. Dilemma! Whichever one I choose I must attend ALONE since the husband is not interested in attending either. Oh for the days when we humored each others idiosyncracies.... Oh well. I don't have to share the popcorn aaaannnnd no pressure to put out afterwards. That is a joke. Richard's not like that....I AM. hahahahaha
Not sleeping well the last two nights...what's up with that? Usually I can sleep anywhere anytime. I'm the Queen of Z's. I blamed Sunday nights insomnia on coffee in the after noon. But last nights? No idea. Just twitchy. Slept on the couch again. Thats usually a sure fire cure...that and my psych text from second year university except its reeeeeaaallly heavy and hurts when it falls on my face.
On todays list on stuffs: laundry, as always (Nudism NOW)
study stone lore
finish Stress reading
figure out what I need to know for Fridays class
Vacuum upstairs
assorted cleanings (why is the bannister sticky???!)


Going back to bed is lookin' reeeeeeeeeaL GOOD. EXCEPT I SPENT MOST OF YESTERDAY ON THE COUCH WATCHING fIREFLY AND FOLDING LAUNDRY
Ooops.cap lock.....sorry.

Back Again

Last couple of times I came on here things weren't working very well. Nice to be back.
Yesterday we went for a drive to Pepiniere Leblanc where we purchased a wisteria (Cooke's Purple). Its going to be sooooo shiny someday. Its not unusual for them to be persnickity about blooming for the first few years. When we got back to town we hit Canadian Tire for some compost and I also got a very sad looking Hanakisoi tree peony and a Mr president clematis. Yesterday was a very rainy and wet chilly day. Once home I started by pulling on my shiny new red gardening gloves and digging out the ugly cedar at the front of the houise. In went the wisteria with lots of compost etc. Then I popped out a wigeilia (sp?) shrub and something ugly to replace them with tree peony and clematis. After all that ...what to do with that 5 foot cedar?? I dug a hole and stuck it in near the drive way.
All this took about an hour and a half and boy did I have fun. I was soaked, chilly, and covered in mud from top to bottom. I love playing in the rain!!!!

testing

testing

What a great day...........

Today was so awesome. We jumped in the car, went to Dunkin' Donuts for coffees (and donuts for the rest of the crew, not me) and continued on to Pepiniere Leblanc. The owner was working and was very nice even though I couldn't understand him, but thats what Richard is for. We bought a Cooke's Purple Chinese Wisteria. After that we went for a drive along the Mille Iles. It was a great way to spend a rainy day. Once back in Terrebonne we zipped into Canadian Tire for compost and I also got 2 packaged plants..a tree peony called "Hanakisoi", and a clematis called "Mr. President".
Once home I tugged on my new red garden gloves and started digging. Remember..it was raining too but did that stop me..OH NO! By the time I had dug up the cedar tree, replaced it with the wisteria, yanked out a weigilia and replaced it with the tree peony, yanked out something I don't like to make room for the clematis, and then dug a hole to replant the cedar by the drive way..about an hour and a half... I was dripping wet and covered in mud. And soooo happy! I love it when Richard gets in a mood to buy landscaping stuff !! It was a learning experience too..I never knew my husband of 12 years (June 11th) likes purple flowers. How cool is that to still be learning something new about my life partner? On the flip side..why did he not tell me this years ago?? MEN!

I am excited (day after Earth Day)

Richard surprised me today by announcing an outing. We are going for a drive in the countryside (in about 15 minutes) to visit a garden center he found while out for an explore. EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE! So excited!!!!!!
I am hoping to find something to plant as a celebration of Earth Day (one day late)..a tree hopefully. I have a spot that would probably suit a tree but haven't prepared it. If worse comes to worse I will get some compost to spread around the gardens.

My man knows how to make me happy and thats a fact!

Also ...still reading the stress book. It makes a lot of sense. Its a tiny book but my reading is a in the form of a page here and there as I can grab the moments.

Gosh..I hope I find a nice something at the garden center..I hope its a good place...hyperventilating now.........

LOTUS SUTRA

Marina from the MPRC started a gardening and harvest elist for those interested in food production. Would be interesting for those with concerns regarding world food production or organic gardening. She made me moderator and we ned more members to get some activity going. I have a link on my sidebar....help us make this a going concern.

Still Pickin'

But not much grinnin' ... I still found nits on Ben today. Grrr... Lets hope that I do eventually get them all.

I wish I had've had an Emergency Lice Plan prepared for this. A good nit comb (instead of the ones that break), tweezers, magno spectacles (so i could see the stupid little $%^&ers), and a natural method of treatment instead of the toxic shampoo. I have mega guilt about that shampoo.
Now that I am not freaking out anymore and the mountains of laundry are nearly gons, I have checked out somemore lice info and concocted a remedy that could work.

In a small bottle (like a travel shampoo bottle) combine the following:
5 tsp olive or coconut oil
5 drops each : tea tree, peppermint, and eucalyptus essential oils
8 drops each: geranium, rosemary, and lavender essential oils
2 tsp baby shampoo

Cap the bottle and shake well. Apply entire mixture to the scalp and hair making sure to distribute heavily through out the hair strands and the hairline. Cap with a shower cap or wrap in a towel (prevents dripping into the face)and let sit 1 hour. Long hair and adult heads will require more of the mixture so double it and use what you need.
After an hour, add some warm water and lather up the head thoroughly and rinse well with as hot water as you can stand. You will probably want to shampoo again with a shampoo of your choice since the hair retains a fair bit of the oil. After you are done, blow dry the hair and commence to clearing out remaining nits and/or lice.

Lice may be repelled by adding a drop of each oil to your final rinse when you know that lice are around but you haven't yet contracted them. Also, regularly do a head check.
Wish I'd known this last week.

With all of this I didn't do a danged thing to celebrate Earth Day unless you consider trying to be less toxic in our approach to delousing. Planted no trees, picked up no trash.
The guys are gone to the Monster Truck Spectacular at The big O. The boys are tickled and Richard is excited to go with them and have guy fun. My boys are car crazy..they always want more Hot Wheels, rent Hot Wheels videos....you name it . This is a perfect outting for them although I have those dang mother concerns about indoor air quality and sound levels at these things. Party pooper that I am.
I'm gonna rent a video and find something to snack on....

Happy Earth Day and...............

Support Equality Now http://www.equalitynow.org/english/index.html by attending the Montreal charity screening of the sci fi film, Serenity. For more detail go to http://www.equalitynow.org/english/index.html . Have fun and support a worthy cause. Find a screening in your neck of the woods.

Its Earth Day...how will you honor and nurture this place we call home? This organism that gave us all life and continues to support us? What can you give back, however big or small? Think about it...... http://www.earthday.ca .

Nit picking

The saga continues............ Today is LAUNDRY and picking through hair. Can you spell tedious? Well..ya can NOW! Its right there in the last sentence. man, those #$%^ers are hard to see (nits). I went through Cameron's hair again this morning but couldn't find anything (Thank you Lady). I just finished going through Ben's hair and found nothing leggedy but did find some nits. I will be checking again for any I missed. The poor kids gonna be bald by the time I'm done I think.
I must say my favorite time of day (besides nightime sleeping) is being online and also watching the opening part of Regis and Kelly. Kelly Ripa totally cracks me up. I mean, the could lose Regis and just give her a guest host every day because thats usually when its REALLY funny. So i'm on here doing whatever but in the background the TV is on. Oh man and yesterday it was WAY funny because Craig Ferguson was the guest host. He's the Scottish actor that used to be on Drew Carey. He is really really funny. Apparently he has a late night show...I don't have cable so I dunno. bets its friggin' funny though. Once the guests come on R+K I tune out. its the openning banter and sharing of opinions and stuff that I enjoy. After that, meh.
Its good to have a laugh...especially today.

Head mice

EEEEEEEEEEEEEEEWWWW!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! We have a case of head lice in the house and I am creeped way out. ick ick ick I checked the boys Monday night because there had been a notice from school and found nothing. Tonight Ben was saying his head was itchy and Voila...creepy crawlies.
Ugh...Anyways, I ran to the pharmacy for special (poisonous) shampoo and nit combs and prayed he was the only one. So far nothing on Cameron or us. My skin is still crawing though.
Then the pain in the ass factor...4 beds worth of bedding to go through the washer and dryer and stuffed toys etc to bag up for a week or more. Also vacuumed his room and will daily.
Off to research in case I missed something.

I felt pretty.........

.and then I didn't. Why? well, I got my hair cut in a cool stylish 'do and later went to Curves where I sweated like a horse thats been run hard and put away wet. Bye Bye cool stylish 'do. Hello wet sweaty hair that wouldn't go back into 'do.
I wonder how much Nancy would charge to come over every morning and blow dry my hair? Or I could go there! sigh.. The bob was easy BUT was just getting dull for me after 4 years..or maybe it was 3...
Anyhoo. Here we are DAY 3 of getting back on track. I've been pretty darn good so far. Gotta keep the snackables near for that sudden uncontrollable NEED for bad things. TIP: Craving carbs or sweets? Eat a dill pickle. It really really works. After a pickle or two (they are small ones in my fridge) I no longer want whatever I have been prowling around for. Baby carrots help too but are higher in carbs (and I can eat a lot of them while watching TV). Better than candy or ice cream or chips though so what the hell! And I got about an hour of exercise between cycling to and from school with the boys and going to Curves.
Yesterday was AMAZING for being out doors! They have been trimming the trees around the school property and I grabbed a big branch of hawthorn and shoved it into the car when I went to the school at lunch time. After school I snipped off twig, trimmed off bigger bits for wands and a stang, and had a big piece left to be a pronged staff. I need to peel bark off and let them dry...or split the bark, let them dry, and the bark will come right off then. Very productive use of community tree trimmings....A house up the road has birch trimmings bundled for pick up and the guy next doot cut down his apple tree............. hmmmmm
STRESS: I am reading the book about Stress for class. A lot of it is common sense ..at least to this house. Years ago Richard had heart concerns and ended up in ICU. Talk about scary!!! Turns out it was stress related. We learned a lot about coping and reducing stress. With my depression problems, first job was to try stress relieving methods to see if that was enough to help (it wasn't enough BUT it does help). Deep breathing exercises daily, physical activity that gets your heart rate up, and stretching are big winners in this house. Richard really benefits from the activity. This week he was feeling his stress level rising to a danger level (meaning skipping heart beats and numbness)..a half hour at night on the trainer knocked that right out! As we discussed this I told Richard he should try deep breathing daily also ...with modern stress levels we are constantly in "fight or flight" mode..shallow breathing and tense muscles. Deep breathing helps us release that and increases the oxygen flow, resulting in a better feeling of well being. i especially like to deep breath and chakra visualise before sleep at night.
I'm tellin ya..it really helps.

Day one.........

Day One..under my belt. I accidentally drank some juice this morning and also ate too many almonds this afternoon and evening. Other than that I was in control all day. Also, everyone is alive! woohoo
Looks like we made it...lalalalalala...... for day one anyways. And tomorrow is another day.

$%^&*$%^&!!!!!!!

I feel like a total dipshit. I completely forgot about Christiane's stone lore workshop on Thursday and now can't afford to go. #$%^&. If I only had a brain that works!!!
I switched cat litters last week. i know...how exciting! well, it is for me. Its a corn cob based clumping litter that one can flush. HA! Take that stinky garbage..take that looming cloud of bowel obstruction worry...

Night time

I must say I like this color..easy on my eyes.
I finished the book Stolen by Kelley Armstrong. Some laundry got done today as well so i wasn't a total waste of oxygen. hahahahaha
My class on Friday is postponed until next week which is good because the stone lore isn't sticking very well yet. So i do what any reliable student does when the info needs to stick..I did my nails.
Yes NAILS. I have somehow stopped nail biting. Of course I've been eating all the wrong things so maybe with the diet pressure off, my nails caught a break. I've vowed that tomorrow I would REALLY be back on track again. Its soooo hard. The first week is always the worst when the cravings are strongest and I'm tired and cranky and a bit sickly feeling. I'm grasping for that ever elusive will power. Its not been strong for awhile and I need it back . So, tonight was manicure time. They look graet and by this time tomorrow..will probably be a mess of chipped polish. It never lasts...sigh. Why do I bother? Cuz I'm a GURL.
So..tomorrow will probably NOT be a good day what with the re-commencement of low carb life. Consider the 'verse warned.

Happy Chocolate Day!

So..the last few days have been busy and also not busy.
Friday we were all home and did some yard work..we dug up the bridal wreath spireas from the back yard and replanted them across the front yard. That was a job with a capital J.
Then later I puttered at a backyard flower bed pulling weeds and enlarging. Richard and Ben got in 9 holes of golf at the practice range, which i find so cuuuuuute. Poor Cammie bear was down with a fever..he crashed on the couch and snoozed for about an hour or more.
Saturday Cam was much better and Ben's birthday celebration at Recreatheque in Laval. as a result we have declared a moritorium on birthday parties for at least one birthday for both boys. We are BP'd out. I mean..you spend a freakin' fortune and the kid WHINES and bitches 75 percent of the time. Or you get stressed out like crazy to make your child HAPPY....Hello!?its his birthday..he's already happy!!!!!! We've had it and need a break from bithday parties. The next ones are family affairs..no outsiders! We will do non stressful things like catch a movie in ENGLISH (cammie's birthday trip to the movies was french so the guests could understand) and maybe eat out or spend the money from a stupid party outting on a cool gift or something. OR put some money in the bank for a change.
I am a terrible mother, I know it...this was my 9th year of birthday parties and I just suck at it.
Easter was today, not that I celebrate easter but anyday that calls for chocolate can't be bad so the Bunny did his annual visit. Plus, my kids were raised witn easter...how do you take away the bunny just because your personal beliefs have changed? Plus I still like the bunny visits. i am a bad mother and a hypocrite.
Last night Cammie woke with a rash and "hurting". He breaks out in rashes after viruses sometimes so we gave him some ibuprofen and Reactine and let him sleep in the big bed.
Today he was fine as can be again. We had a nice lazy day and went to Chapters where the Bunny got me 3 books! LOL The Bunny felt guilty because someBunny got him chocolate and he didn't do anything for hisBunny. heh heh heh. One was the Serenity novel based on the movie that a certain Crimson temptress showed me at her house. I also got two books by an author whom I'd enjoyed in the past. Name is escaping me at the mo' but she wrote Bitten, Stolen, and Haunted. i bought the latter two today having read Bitten before. werewolf smut! woohoo.
This week I need to study and practice for my testing this Friday on Stone lore and the practice is so i can journal about it. i so suck at practicing..which is why i can't play guitar after lotsa lessons.
Anyways, off i go into this good night.

Good night, sweet princes/esses............

Poeticalness

Surrounded

I see Divinity in the skies
The waters, the trees
My children's eyes.
In sand and stone
Breeze and cloud
In dignity
Strong and proud.
In the songs of birdschildren and wind
I hear Her voice
Again and again.
In the purr of a cat
And the thrum of the waves
Her presence around me
Gently saves
And keeps me from wasting time
In seeking...
When all around is Divine.

Tuesday

Yesterday was a beautiful day! The sun was bright and it was a lovely warm spring day! I had my stint at the MPRC desk and it was very quiet mostly though the store was brisk. sigh
At least Sam came in to visit and then an interesting individual. When I left he was still there talking to Marina.
My Serenity comic anthology should be in in a couple of weeks. I checked yesterday and the order was finally placed last week.
Today I MUST accomplish laundry. Its piling up again. You know, if we all live the Naturist lifestyle we'd save so much money on water, detergent, wardrobe...maybe have to pay more in heating but still.... I am so sick of freaking laundry!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Even when its all caught up (HA HA HA yeah right) there is still more! grrrrrrr
Visited my friend Nancy for a bit last night. She is very spiritual in a Christian way. Not that she attends church regularly but in that she prays a lot and reads a lot of materials on Christian stuff. I think our friendship will be an...interesting one. I think we will agree to disagree on some things and laugh at our differences such as last night when she jokingly said she'd Pray For Me! Then I remembered Hobbes quip and said ' Ok and I'll dance around a bonfire for you!" The look on her face was priceless!!!!!!!!!!!!!! heh heheh heheh But seriously, though we differ on religion in some ways we are both still mothers, with the challenges that come with the job, and have some shared interests.
The tomatoes reeeeeeeeaaallly need repotting but I haven't enough containers yet...may have to create some. Will see if I have time today.
Richard gets to go to a lunceon featuring everyones favorite Android, Stephen Harper! Where's my gay rights, Kyoto, universal medicine and daycare pins???! Wanker.
Anyhoo...tahts about it for here in the burbs today. The birds are going berserk with the spring fever and I had a cocktail whilst I barbequed last evening ( a Fuzzy Brazen Hussy..a brazen hussy with some soda water added). Yup..life is goooood.

I Forgot To say.........

That even though this past week was one of setbacks and stress here life is amazingly good. Not sure Richard would share that sentiment but from MY perspective its aaalllll good stuffs. And my perspective is the one that counts yes? ;oP Poor man. What he puts up with.
Now I must say that my arrangement with Scarlet makes me veeerrry happy. She is so amazing to just hang out with and we like a surprising number of the same things. (antiques, flowers,books etc etc etc). I hope I do enough housework to warrant my lessons. I come away thingking.."Jeez, it took forever but I only got "this" done for her..thats not good. Am Ireally THAT slow???". Next time I will tackle all the dusting..with everything more or less caught up then every two weeks can be the lick and promise that keeps everything done. How do the pros go through a house so fast and thoroughly in 2 hours?? Maybe I need lessons? I do have to say though between her cleaning the bathroom and my doing the floors things were pretty fresh and shiny.
Errands were done first and that was way fun. I must go back to that street with the family especially for the book sale at DogEarred Books. The owner was so charming and fun! I looove the small town hole in the wall feel. It reminds me of what my hometowns shopping district USED to be before malls etc took over. Here in Terrebonne we have something similar down in Old Terrebonne except the prices are not resident friendly in my opinion. Touristy prices. Yuck.
Next time I will make a firm arrangement with Richard to pick the boys up. It was iffy so I had to leave before I was really ready and would have enjoyed a cuppa with Scarlet but as it was I was late to pick them up and Richard HAD gotten them so I coulda stayed..ARGH! The traffic was WAY insane! 20 to 40 km/h in 100km/h areas. Thats bumper to bumper and crazy!
The Lessons: Some of the energy work made me woozy/dizzy. I'm pretty sure I wasn't grounded well enough because I was nervous. Performance anxiety? Plus..I can't see it..sorta feel it..definitely DOUBT it. I sabotage myself. Very obvious with my energy ball. It was more of a bubble. Try and sense it and it fizzles away. I practised last night quite a bit.
The stone lore was very interesting to me even though I AGAIN didn't understand my intuitions. I bombed!!!!!!! LOL At least I can laugh about it and how else does one TRULY learn unless they have some failure to measure by? Its all good. I came away proud of some things and feeling foolish on others but Scarlet NEVER makes you feel like the total ass you may be. With her, anything and everything is a possibility and if she tells you you could fly to the moon you'd believe in yourself enough to do it.
I saw Flavia yesterday and told her that I was doing Level Two so I'd join her in September for Level 3. We hugged, squealed, danced about like the silly girls that we are which is funny because Flavia is NOT a silly girl. Out of our original 7 in Lvel 1 we are the only ones that seemed to get what we wanted out of clss even if it may not have been exactly what we expected in the beginning. We discovered a lot about ourselves and have the thirst for more. She is loving Level 2 with Rosanne so much and is eager for more more more! I think she is discovering untapped potential and it will make her even more powerful as a person.
I played with my stones last night, worked on energy balls with Freckles watching over me, and put my stones to be cleansed in salt. Once asleep I dreamed of watching huge kites that flew like dragons with my children, and of airplanes that cast shadows against the clouds above them. i woke contented.

What A Day!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Today I went for my first trip to the Gen Show and it will not be my last gem show thats for sure!!! In a word: WOW! There was everything any rock whore could ever want!! Now granted there were some mass produced type pieces found on more than one table (little figurines) but as a source of bulk stones, rough or polished, wands, jewellery, and artisianal pieces it was amazing. My only complaint: My allowance is waaaaaaay too small. Nathalie and I left without seeing almost half..you really need hours and hours not just 3ish hours. And bring your favorite resource book on gems and minerals. I didn't bring mine(DOH) but a lady there was very nice and handed her copy of Love Is In The Earth by Melody for me to look a couple of things up in while we stopped at her table. She had some great stones, some different from anyone else like blue, pink, or green opals. Nathalie took her card because she can get copies of the book from the author Melody . Very cool.

Why I Don't Hate Dr.Phil anymore.....

.. For some reason I am finding he makes more sense. I used to think he was a nasty ol' bastard but now that I have watched his show a couple of times he seems to make a lot of sense and he gives nasty people a good tongue lashin'!!
Today its people obsessed with their looks. I think I can be guilty of that by times..I color my hair and would like fake nails. But plastic surgery up the ying yang???! No way baby. I don't even wear make up most of the time.
My weight is also an issue with me...if I could surgically remove the blubber without risk?...Yes I would. I'm lazy. I am tired of behaving and exercising. Oh well. Not gonna happen.
There was a guy on Oprah (I caught the last 5 minutes..I do not watch these shows every day or even every week) and a guy lost 200 plus pounds in 2 1/2 years just by changing some habbits...veggie pizza instead of regular fatty pizza...baked chips instead of regular.. He looked amazing! Down from over 400 pounds to a very attractive healthy weight. I wish simple changes like that worked for me.
Anyways, at least I'm not gaining. Last night on my way out to Curves I was grumbling about being a giant blob. I was quite down yesterday. Richard is so sweet.."What are you saying!? You are not!! You have lost over 30 pounds! You are down a size! You are doing great, sweetie. You're beautiful!" Yeah I've lost 30 pounds and a bit, but I'm still overweight and a blob. At least thats how I feel. Somedays I feel great and think I look so much better! Other days I feel crappy. Guess I need another work out.
On happier news.....my friend Marla..my Marla as I call her..has gotten back into some livestock and got some chickens. Fun!

Thursday

Today was a treat...dentist visit! No cavities but they want my ancient fillings replaced. This is not the first time it has come up and it has been awhile since this was last suggested so maybe it is time to really consider it. YUCK!
Cameron'steeth were also fine and they suggested putting a layer of the stuff they use for fillings to protect his teeth from his grinding while he sleeps. His baby teeth were ground down to nubbins and we can't have that happening to his adult teeth. It should last about a year and then we'll do it again. This is great because we were very worried about this.
Went to Curves last night instead of during the day and it was fun. Different folk and new moves. Made it interesting. Plus it was nice to get out and leave everything in Richard's lap for awhile! :oD
Tomorrow I got to Miss Scarlet's place for my bi weekly visit and clean. I hate my own housework but enjoy helping someone else's chores. How weird. I guess because here, by the time I turn around its needing to be done again while at someone elses house I leave and don't see it again for awhile.
Seedlings are doing ok. The cheaper seeds I bought didn't have the best germination rate in the 'verse but when you only need a few thats ok. Had some loss due to damping off. In hopes that the remainders will survive until time to pot them (after true leaves show up) Some sun would be nice too!
Time to take the monkey's back to school and today is Madame Sophie's last visit for tutoring. Yay!!!!!!
Hey, did anyone watch Idol last night? Is it just me or does Kenny Rogers look down right freaky???"???? Yeek!

Earth Day Is Coming!

When I am queen every day with be Earth day but until then, check out www.earthday.ca and www.ecokids.ca for ways you cand yours can love our Mother and maybe have some fun too. Way cool.

funky blue day

I just couldn't get motivated today..well I did at first. I vacced the main floor and basement and switched loads of laundry and started another but after that I completely fizzled. As I curled up to watch some Firefly the phone rang and it was my friend Jessie in Nfld. That was nice. She is a very cool lady. Then it was lunchtime with the kids and after I took them back to school I curled up again to watch some Firefly. Then I tried to nap. The kids came home and had snacks and I napped. See? NO motivation to speak of and the sugar cravings are unreal. sigh This so totally sucks.
I also managed to print out invites for Ben's upcoming birthday. That took ages just to get done (find free printables that were worthy of he boy). I have bookmarked the site. Now the kids want coloring pages printed out for them. I encourage that bit of artistry. The coloring pages online are often better than some coloring books and printer paper is much nicer to work with thats for sure. Single parenting at About.com has loads of links on their coloring pages page. We just printed off a heap of Harry Potter. Hmmm...maybe I should do some up for me and go hide with my colored pencils. :o)
As I usually do with days like this I explore new to me and sometimes better house hold organising and cleaning and money saving ideas to try and motivate myself to do the job. Again, About.com is the place to go! The Stay At Home parenting pages, Frugal Living pages, and house work can usually give you something to try out. Sound silly and dull? Maybe it is but this is my job. I seek ways to make it interesting and more efficient and maybe even fun. I try to make this home a nice place to be..not in the "Whoa your house is sooo nice!!" way, but in the way that the family is glad to call it home..ie: oooh coloring pages! oooh the floor is clean and whats that nice smell?!
Speaking of nice smell...I bought an "aromatherapy" dish liquid that I saw at the Maxi or Loblaws. it was cheap and I remembered that bergamot is uplifting and it claims to hve some in it..anyways..it smells GREAT! Not too floral or cloying at all and washing dishes with it, while not my favorite thing to do, is not unenjoyable. Its a purply color and made by President's Choice. I recommend it for its smell. Bet it would make a nice bubble bath..
Anyhoo, its almost suppertime and supper is NOT started. Leftover chicken annnnnnnnd.......hmm. Better get on that. blah
sigh...Maybe its the weather?

That was fun!

Now I know how to add photos from the web..this is way cool!

How cute is This?

Such a pretty picture! Whimsy and innocence, aaaahhh.

Tuesday catch up

Its Tuesday. Its chilly and dark and cold but its still spring so I am not complaining. The trees are already bursting into bud! Perennials are poking their little noggins up to take a boo at whats happening and soon will BURST out of the ground "Tah Dah!"
Yesterday I was at the MPRC though I think I spent more time in the shop gabbing with Nathalie and Dimitri. It was fairly quiey and at one point there were 3 kids from New Brunswick in. Nice kids! About 18 years old and in town for the Rob Zombie concert. We chatted like mad in the shop while Nathalie waited on them sales wise. the girl of the trio was veeeeerrrry interesting (in a very good way!!). She was so grounded and level headed and going to study to be a funeral director..not out of some morbid fascination with death but as a way to serve humanity. It was so amazing to talk with her (a solitary wiccan as well for 5 years) and we compared book loves and theories etc. She wants to attend the Gaia Gathering and I said that if she see us to say hi!! Super cool folk.
Chatted briefly with Marina when she came in and Nathalie and I talked herb gardens etc. I definitely want to increase my herb collection, both medicinal and magical..oh and culinary as well of course! I identified a weed for her from a picture she drew for me and thats what got us going...LOL. (the weed was coltsfoot though I wasn't a hundred percent sure of the name at the time..pretty sure buuuuut).http://www.northamptonshirewildlife.co.uk/images/coltsfoot.jpg
Yet another formerly useful plant relegated to ditches and roadsides.
HAPPY ALERT: The province has imposed a province wide ban on lawn herbicides and pesticides according to a news blurb yesterday on CBC radio. I am very happy!!! The birds bees and asthmatics thank you!!!!!! It drove me crazy as a nanny to see the Dad of the family spread Weed and Feeed on his lawn that his CHILDREN rolled around and played on!! Why not just add a sprinkle to their breakfast cereal for #$$%%^^* sake! OY! 24D is a derivative of agent orange for heaven's sake! C'mon people! I am very very happy at this turn of events. Organic is a better alternative. More labor intensive but BETTER.
Ummm..what else...hmmm. We called our tenants and asked them to put a stop payment on the lost chque and they did so Richard is breathing easier but probably won't totally chill until its all over. Thats ok. he's a little high strung that way. we all have our flaws.
I got the latest Sagewoman at Melange yesterday and its pretty good. The theme is Simplicity. What it really is , isn't, and how to achieve it. The article on tea, a simple pleasure, made me want to wrap my hands around a cuppa. LOL And I don't even LIKE tea that much. I looove the IDEA of tea but the reality is pretty bleah. I'm trying though, and have a collection of teas that I rarely partake of and reduced in size before the move last year.
The boys brought home their report cards yesterday and near as I can tell they are doing ok. I'm very proud of them.
There is laundry to do today and vacuuming as well as many other stuffs but I am a tired puppy this mornaing after a terrible nights sleep.

So You Had A Bad Day.............

It started out good but swiftly turned sour. I went to my friend Nancy's for coffee and chat which was great. Came home to a happy family..also great. then Richard went out to run errands and it all came tumbling down.
He had our tenants rent cheque with him in his wallet to deposit at the bank today. He took it out of his wallet at home to sign it, but didn't put it back in his wallet. Got to the bank, cheque was gone. So our budget is $450 out of whack for this month now.
He searched the car, went back over his steps, came home and looked. No cheque. So needless to say he is a lion with a SERIOUS thorn in his paw now. We are all tip toeing around him.
What a pisser.

Saturday's doin's

We watched King Kong with the kids this morning while knocking back coffee. then it was time for Ben's soccer evaluation. I puttered and showered and went to the Essaim to get my 'scrp filled and got sidetracked by hair care products, make up etc. Sometimes I like being a girl!
I stopped into the salon and said hi to Nancy. We made a tentative date for coffee at her place tomorrow. Then as I headed for home I got sidetracked again by a small clothing store. I don't shop there usually because..I'm not thin enough. Its all Mexx and Point Zero etc and made for thinner folk BUT I went in to look at the pretties and on a whim tried on a dress. It FIT! I could not believe that!! It was a size 16 so I am down from a 2xx or 18 (depending on brands etc). I was so happy. I can shop in regular stores again!!!!!!!! I did not buy the dress because it wasn't a good style for me. happy happy.
I got some Fantastick Bathroom cleaner with Bleach and tried it on my gunky bathroom. We have hard water so it kinds leaves a residue that alot of cleaners don't remove. Let say I now have a shiny bathroom. Although I had to ventilate the area and my eyes were burning.........I will not used it every time..just when things get bad enough....